Marvelous Misadventures of one SAHM

And that is why I'm never blogging again

2009-08-13T20:52:00.002-05:00

So the last post seems to be a really hard one to follow up, every time I start to think of something to write I log into blogger and wham there she is looking at me, turns out nothing can top where I know she is right now at this very moment and oh the joy she has to be feeling. Can you even imagine?

I mean, for crying out loud last weekend we went to Tunica, MS and watched Counting Crows live on stage and I can't even find it in me to blog about it!

God has a new Angel

2009-07-19T14:17:00.001-05:00

The good Lord does answer prayers, he called her home today, and while my heart aches with sadness I wouldn't wish her back to this earth for anything. She is at rest, she is at peace, she is reunited with her husband of 70 years and 2 of her sons that passed on before her.

Enjoy those new wings Grandma, we love you and will miss you.

So it's been a while

2009-07-10T09:31:00.002-05:00

Once again I find myself sitting here wondering why it's taken me so long to post, maybe its because this thing called life just keeps kicking my ass every time I sit down to write!

A lot has been going on with our family in the past few weeks, a lot of things that have not been pleasant, a lot of things have been just down right hard to deal with, and while I've wanted to post about them and seek the opinions of my loyal and royal readers I've been more reserved and have kept them to myself. However today I would like to open up about one thing that is going on (and just ask for what we called "unspoken" prayer for the rest of the things that are going on with some members of my family).

This past weekend my grandmother had a massive stroke, this past Tuesday Caleb and I made a flying trip to Mena to go see her and spend, what might possibly be the last moments we may ever share with her, at her bedside.

My grandmother is the epitome of a woman after God's own heart. The life she has lead would be enough to (in my mind) write her own book in the bible. After marrying my grandfather at a very young age they went on to have 8 children (move over Duggar's, and Jon and Kate have nothing on my grandparents) 7 boys and 1 girl. Now the 7 boys alone would make any woman who raised them without losing her sanity or removing her husbands testicles as he slept a saint in my book. A few of my uncles managed to singlehandedly put the majority of the grey hairs on her head pulling stunts like crashing cars and having to be bailed out of jail time and time again but not the one girl, nope the lone girl was always the laid back one, the one who saw all the trouble her brothers caused and vowed not to do the same she was the baby of the family.... oh did I mention that the lone girl is my mother :) I have a few stories on my mom that I could tell but oh how she would kill me, so I'll save those for another post.

My grandfather passed away 7 years ago, he and my grandmother were married 70 years when he died and the loss that we all felt as a family could not have been so much as a scratch compared to the pain my grandmother must have felt.

We all thought that losing my grandpa would be more than she could bare, but she surprised us all, she continued to get up day after day and continued to live her life. She was thrilled when visitors came and sad when they left. She continued to welcome new grandchildren and great grandchildren all the while silently wishing for him to be by her side (or at least that is what I think). Her health has steadily declined over the last two years, she has been bedridden for most of it, yet aside from a few bouts of confusion every now and again and a few mini strokes shes done remarkably well.

When we would go to visit our topic of conversation often went to Colorado (my grandparents had a beautiful place there on the river and she loved it) she wanted to go back there just once more she would say, although we all knew that wasn't an option. She was always interested in our lives, what we were doing, where we were going and this boy of mine was always #1 topic of conversation. She knew the pride a momma has in her boys and she made sure to stroke my ego when it came to Caleb, every chance she got.

Tuesday was one of the hardest days of my life, for more reasons than I can even begin to explain. She no longer has use of the right side of her body what so ever, she cannot close her mouth, she has trouble swallowing, she cannot speak, she does not recognize people and the light that used to be in her eyes is all but gone. All of these things were told to me before I got there and while I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park I thought I could handle it. I was wrong. I held it together as best I could while we were there, but in writing this post today I'm a breathless with sobs.

As I bent down to kiss her forehead before we left with tears in my eyes I told her that we loved her and that we were praying for her, I did not however tell her what it was that I was asking God for. As we drove away Tuesday afternoon I asked God to take her home, this is not how she would want to live, she is tired, she is weak and she is worn, she is in need of that eternally peaceful rest. I know she has lived her entire life for the moment when she will close her eyes and be with him in heaven, I know she is looking forward to seeing not only my grandfather but two of her sons that passed on before her, I know this is the prayer she would want for me to pray, I know these tears that are streaming down my face are not for her but are for me and for the loss that I know is coming the loss that I already feel.

Please pray for me and for our family.

Totally R-O-T-T-E-N

2009-06-23T10:53:00.003-05:00

Tell me I don't have one of the most rotten kid's in the world....

This little jewel now adorns our entire back yard! And as my husband so sadly put it, when checking out of Sam's with all 800 lbs of this play set "there goes my dream TV" what a good daddy to opt to spend the money of a play set for his rotten boy (which by the way is an early birthday present for the little booger, not a "just cause your special and rotten and spoiled" gift).

At any rate aside from the directions saying "will take two moderately skilled persons 20 to 24 hours to assemble" which totally made me laugh my ass off! It took Danny and my dad all weekend and after my folks left it took Danny and I another 3 days of working from the time we both got home from work till bed to finally get it all done!

Let me just tell you, this play set is by far the best decision we have made thus far as parents! Caleb loves it! Hell we love it, it keeps him totally occupied, throw in 500 lbs of sand in the sand box and I swear I have to stop, look around at all the toys that are in the middle of the living room floor and remind myself that I do in fact still have a child!

So here's to you Caleb.... Happy (really early) Birthday!!

I'm knocking on the door

2009-06-09T09:31:00.002-05:00

And don't wanna go in! To be a little more forthcoming in two days I turn 29.... sorry folks, 29 is just a little too close to that dreaded OLD number of 30 for my liking! Now don't get me wrong, for some of you I'm sure 30 was no problem, in fact some of you might have even enjoyed adding yet another decade to your lives, me... NOT.SO.MUCH.

Is it just me, or did you guys never think you would make it to 30? Honestly, I remember thinking how great it would be to be 20 something, but 30 Pshhh not me!

30 just seems so FINAL! Like there is no going back, you've made it, you came, you saw, you did and now your 30 FOR.CRYING.OUT.LOUD. You might as well just roll over and die!!!

My husband turned 30 not on his last birthday, but the one before (I like the older men, what can I say)! He didn't seem to have a problem with it, all he asked for was a party at Chuck E Cheese, you know "where a kid can be a kid". I'm starting to see why he wanted to go there, I think in some strange way he was trying to hold onto his youth before he fell off the cliff head first into O-L-D!!!

That's it, a year from Thursday please be prepared to hear the worlds loudest HISSY FIT, there will be kicking, screaming, holding of breath until turning blue in the face, cursing, crying and more than likely some MAJOR DRINKING... if 30 thinks its going to take another victim "quietly and easily" well that bitch has yet another thing coming, she has totally underestimated me!

(small side note, my sweet, wonderful and awesome husband/boss has given me the day off on Thursday to plot and scheme my evil plan for next year, I mean to go on the wonderful spa day that he surprised me with this year for my birthday... isn't he just the greatest)

A List of possible reasons for my lack of posting

2009-06-03T09:55:00.002-05:00

So here are a few possible reasons for the fact that I have not posted a new blog in almost a month, they include but are not limited to the following, take your pick.....

I died...... (in which case I should probably be posting my obituary, and you might as well remove my from your list of favorite blogs to read, cause I don't think I'll be posting from the Great Beyond)

I had no Internet connection...... (don't pay any attention to the fact that I've updated my Facebook status probably 100 times just haven't posted anything)

I was involved in a horrific accident (insert blood curdling gasp here) that resulted in the loss of not just one but BOTH of my hands.......... (in which case could someone come over and please help me wipe......... what no takers............. sheesh and you guys call yourselves my friends....)

Temporary insanity ........ (ha we all know my insanity is not "temporary" its habitual)

I forgot the link to my own blog ....... (this one I would not put past myself..... but alas that's not it either)

I've gone "Green" and have revolted against the evil waste of electricity that it would take to turn my laptop on........ (wouldn't Obama be proud that I too, am doing my part for a little "Change" in this world)

The hierarchy at Fed-Ex Ground somehow stumbled across this blog and felt that it's contents somehow threatened national security........ (ummm yeah .. insert witty comment here)

I haven't left the house even once in the past month nor have I talked to a single soul and Caleb has not done even one slightly cute thing thus I have had NO blogging material ..... (if I hadn't left the house or talked to a single soul in a month my head would have exploded by now and you should refer to the first reason in this list, and we all know Caleb is the epitome of cuteness so of course he has done plenty of cute things)

Alas here is the real reason I haven't posted.... are you ready for this..... drum roll please..... I've been a lazy schmuck! Haven't felt like it, didn't want to, wasn't going to and you couldn't make me! There you have it folks, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God!

I'll think about doing better! If I don't, well that's just the way it is and you'll have to deal with it won't you! HA

It's Not Wednesday but....

2009-05-12T12:12:00.000-05:00

Here is a picture from our Mother's Day weekend camping/hiking trip to Devil's Den State Park!

Let it be said that I enjoy camping, however, I do not enjoy camping in the threat of a tornado! Friday night we set up our tent (scratch that our BRAND NEW tent) while in a Tornado Warning, and all went well right up until it started to rain and then to pour and then, yup you guessed it... our brand freakin new tent started to leak. I was awake all night, Danny was pretty much awake all night and Caleb, well my little caming trooper slept right thru the thick of the storm never mind the lightening and the thunder he snoozed like there was no tomorrow!

Also as just a small side note, our air matress leaked so on Saturday morning we put a patch on it and thought we had it fixed... good as new right! WRONG!!! Air matress went in campground trash before we pulled up camp on Sunday morning! Piece of shit!!

The weekend was great, we had some really great weather to hike in on Sunday and all of the kiddo's loved the caves and the bats in the caves (seriously there were a lot of bats in the caves, kinda freaked me out). All in all the weekend was wonderful, just as long as you factor out the whole sleeping, or rather the lack there of!

We are now looking for a pop up camper!! This momma's not really the "tent type"!

Tossed in the mix, and thrown outta bar's

2009-05-06T12:02:00.002-05:00

OK be honest, how many of you know where this title came from?? Anyone up for a little Kid Rock??

The CAKE concert was awesome, even with the torrential rain, threat of tornado's and a little hail the concert still rocked my face off! I was a bit disappointed that they didn't play more of their old stuff, but hey I'll take what I can get.

After the concert, since we were kidless for the night we decided to go down on Dickson St and visit some drinking establishments :) I, of course, was the DD so I got to sit and watch everyone else make an ass of themselves with the comfort of knowing that I wouldn't wake up Saturday morning with a hangover :) It's a win win situation really!

A good friend of ours owns a bar called Georges Majestic Lounge and since they were offering 1/2 off cover if you brought in a CAKE ticket stub, it was decided that is where we would go. They had 3 live bands playing and they were all quite entertaining. Factor in about 10 too many drinks for the boys, and as all of us females know boys will be boys there was a little "scuffle" which ended up getting us kicked outta the bar!

Being the only sober one there, I can honestly and safely say that our group didn't "start" this scuffle but we did participate so I guess we deserved to get kicked out!

All in all, the night was awesome. We left the bar and went to Waffle House for some good drunk food and loud and rowdy conversation and still managed to make it home by 3am.

Last weekend taught me one thing, I'm getting too old for this shit!!!

** FYI ** Now I wanna go to Houston in August for a Counting Crows concert... who's with me??

Welcome to the first ever edition of ....

2009-05-01T12:12:00.001-05:00

"What Krissi Wonders"
(not sure if this will be a continuous thing or not, and knowing me it probably won't)

Krissi wonders, is it possible to be intellectually attracted to a person and not physically? If so Sean Hannity and I are meant to be together (and I'll throw Glenn Beck in there too, how taboo two Fox News people, shame on me)

Krissi wonders, if other mothers feel as run down as I do on a daily basis? How do women who have more than one child do it? I mean honestly how the heck can you do everything I do for one, over and over and over again??? It boggles my mind.

Krissi wonders, if having dreams about heavy boxes is normal, or is it more a hazard of my line of work?

Krissi wonders, if those little hospital masks everyone in Mexico is wearing really work? It's not as if no germs can escape them.... I mean I'm sure they serve a purpose it's just that I don't think they are as effective as everyone seems to believe.

Krissi wonders, if women pee'd standing up, would we be more tidy about it? I mean really men are such slobs!

Krissi wonders, what happens to that eloquent speaker (Barack Obama) when he doesn't have his teleprompter? I've heard a lot of umm's and ahhh's when he's having to answer questions off the cuff.

Krissi wonders, if my first big concert will live up to my expectations, I sure hope it does.

Krissi wonders, how is it possible now that it's almost summer, my hair has finally started to grow back out? Is it wrong that I wanna cut it all off again? I swear this mop on my head is really getting on my nerves.

Krissi wonders, if granny panties are really as comfortable as I used to think they were before I was introduced to thong panties?

and last but not least

Krissi wonders, about the price of tea in China. Do the Chinese really drink all that much tea, and if so I wonder what the most popular brand is and how much it costs?

It's here, It's here, Finally it's here

2009-04-30T23:34:00.003-05:00

May 1st is finally here! Thank you Sweet Jesus! I thought I would never make it to this date, I thought for sure all of the drama and the turmoil in our families would surely do me in before I made it to this glorious day, but alas tomorrow is May 1st! What, what's that you say, whats so special about May 1st??? Seriously, you don't remember? Well now I've got my panties in a wad and my feelers all hurt (feelers is what Caleb says when he means feelings cute hua... )

Drum Roll please................... CAKE!!! CAKE....CAKE....CAKE!!! My very first concert ever! It's a somewhat out door venue and by somewhat I mean it's a huge monstrosity of a tent thingy that for some reason reminds me of the Sydney Opera House in Australia (even though it looks NOTHING like it) that is set up in the parking lot of the NW Arkansas Mall here in Fayetteville and yup, you guessed it, we are forecasted for severe thunderstorms.all.night.long! Thrilled, that would describe what I think of the forecast!

No rain, no hail, no wind is going to tarnish the excitement I have about this concert! Who knows I may even throw my panties on the stage (ha ok maybe that one is a little off character but hey I'm excited so stick it)! So with the threat of storms I will not be bringing my camera but I will have my Blackberry on hand and promise to try to take a few photos of the concert, and I promise I will be wearing panties in all of them (or will I)! LOL

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-29T09:19:00.002-05:00

Just like a little girl I used to know. Caleb is just like me in so many ways it's scary, I cannot tell you how many different ways I've woken up after having gone to sleep with my head on my pillow!

Adoring Fans

2009-04-27T09:01:00.009-05:00

After a long day of this......

Or in Caleb's case this....

Followed by a quick play in the water hose (you'll notice the lack of clothes in the next few pictures).

It's always nice to have a few close, adoring fans to appreciate all your hard work....

(The SpiderMan undies were just too much not to snap a few pictures. Half of the time he had one hand down the back of his underwear, how I didn't manage to snap a picture like that, I'll never know)

Isn't it funny

2009-04-24T11:30:00.002-05:00

Actually I think the lyric goes "ain't it funny how a melody, can bring back a memory", and who ever wrote that song must have been living my life. Its so strange to me that I can hear a song and instantly be taken back to a time and place that seems so far away, the days before we were a family, even days before we were a "we".

For example, any time I hear anything from Pink's first CD, I'm riding in an 18 wheeler on my way to Los Angeles, CA... now looking back this is not one of my fondest memories but it's a part of what made me the me I am today and for that I guess I'm thankful.

Any time I hear, or see a reference to the Oscar Meyer wiener song it takes me back to being pregnant with Caleb. I made up a song I used to sing to my belly when I was pregnant with him that went a little something like this
"my belly has a first name it's C-A-L-E-B, my belly has a second name it's L-I-N-D-Y, oh I'll love to watch him grow and play and if you ask me why I'll say "cause Caleb Lindy has a way with me his M-O-M-M-A"
Cute I know, and catchy too (sorry if you now have the Oscar Meyer wiener song stuck in your head the rest of the day).

Llynard Skynard takes me back to a time right after graduating high school, when nothing in my world seemed right or good and all I could do was get high and listen sing my heart out to some Tuesday's Gone and Free Bird.

Live's song "Lightening Crashes" takes me back to the night I lost my virginity (stop reading now MOM) when Danny (yes he was my first, and now we are married, again how cute... ugg there were others of which I am not proud) and I were both virgins and had NO CLUE what we were doing. Wow was this one TMI? None the less it's a memory I live over and over again every time I hear this song.

I simply cannot hear the song "Daddy's Hands" and not be moved to tears, when memories of my grandfather flood over me.

Then there is my favorite song of all times, Pearl Jam "Yellow Ledbetter" which always makes me think of throwing darts, drinking beer and being surrounded by friends and family all of which I love!

So, my adoring 15 followers, I ask what are some songs that take you back? And if you are here, reading this and not a follower, you too can leave a comment, but I'll just tell you, you are way cooler when you are a follower of this blog, it's a proven fact, ask the 15 that do and I am sure they will tell you that there lives have been greatly improved and enriched just by becoming a follower of this blog! I'm just saying....

To be, or not to be

2009-04-23T12:05:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been slacking! What, you haven't noticed? Well to say I've had a lot on my plate is like saying the world is kinda round! The week following the tornado in my home town our family suffered a tragic loss. Danny's 23 year old cousin was killed in a car accident and while I thought I would handle it ok (seeing as how I was not that close to him) the "momma side" of me kicked in and to be honest it tore me up. I still cannot imagine being a parent who suffers the devistating loss of losing a child, and pray that I never have to.

Aside from all of that, there has been the seemingly never ending task of trying to get Caleb's asthma under control, not to mention his allergies which cause his asthma to flare! Add to that the fact that my Fed-Ex truck had to go to the shop to have its brakes worked on, and now your seeing the chaotic life that I've been leading the last few weeks!

At any rate I promise to try to fit a few more posts in a little more often! So there HAPPY NOW???

Words cannot describe

2009-04-14T09:12:00.005-05:00

Last Thursday April 9th at around 8:00 pm my hometown of Mena, AR was destroyed by an F3 tornado, after having been there this past weekend I don't have the right words to describe it so these pictures will have to do. 3 people lost their lives and countless others lives will never again be the same. Please keep the small town of Mena in your prayers

It's not nice to lie...

2009-04-09T08:28:00.003-05:00

And it's really STUPID to lie about something that is so OBVIOUS........

Do they think we are really stupid enough to believe that this ,in fact is not a bow, but a "matter of a height differential" between Obama and a Saudi Arabian King

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gJtIss7xso

Do the people of the US have the word "Sucker" written on their foreheads? Maybe those who voted for him should go check!

There's always one in the crowd

2009-04-06T08:16:00.003-05:00

Saturday night I had a first.... it's been a long time since I've had a "first" anything that is unless you count almost every day as a mom, Caleb never lets me down when it comes to first times to do things, I digress back to the point here. Danny and I went to watch a MMA (mixed martial arts) fight and it was awesome!! I've never witnessed a fight in real life before, sure, sure I've seen them on TV random boxing matches here and there but to be there in the crowd and to be a part of it all, well it was exhilarating to say the least.

We went to support a guy that we work with at Fed-Ex, who was fighting for the title in his weight division and I am more than happy to report that he actually won his fight! The last fight he fought in he broke the guys jaw (brutal I know) and in Saturday nights fight he broke the guys thumb...... remind me not to piss this guy off!

None the less, Derek's fight was the final fight of the night which meant that we had to sit thru about 5 other fights to get to his. Sitting thru the other fights helped me to get used to all the tactics that are used, the blood and the down right carnage of it all so needless to say by the time his fight was announced I was pumped and ready to cheer. Some of you who read my blog may remember me in high school, some of you may have even had the unfortunate experience of sitting within a 2 mile radius of me at a few Friday night Bearcat Football games (ha bet that didn't happen 2 weeks in a row) and let me be the first to apologize for any and all hearing loss I may have caused, I tend to get a little loud and a little proud when it comes to sports and in high school I was cheering for one of two people Danny (my now husband) or my brother so really I shouldn't have to apologize!

So here I am screaming like I've got a pair (along with SEVERAL others I might add) when I realize that this red headed hussy about two rows down from us keeps sticking her fingers in her ears every time I open my big mouth. This would be a good time to tell you that there are 3 rounds to a fight and each round lasts 5 minutes (lucky for her Derek's only went a full two rounds), and when there is someone that you know in that ring either A) beating the crap outta the other guy or B) is getting the crap beat outta him by said other guy...... well what can I say the adrenaline kicks in and gets the best of you!

So any thought of "tuning it down" was just that.... a fleeting thought! Needless to say she wasn't happy with just putting her fat fingers in her ears she ends up turning to her boyfriend (read dealer/pimp) and starts whining about my yelling, I freakin lost it, maybe it was all the blood shed I'd already witnessed, maybe it was the fumes of testosterone wafting in the air but there was NO way I was going to sit there and keep my mouth shut.

Round two started and there I was screaming one minute, chugging the Dr. Pepper the next because it would seem that my screaming was a little outta practice... none the less Derek has this other guy pinned down and it just repeatedly hitting him in the face, over and over and over and over again and the crowd was FREAKING.WILD. Well all the crowd except for her and wouldn't you guess it shes still complaining about my screaming, when finally I've had enough, I turn to her and say (maybe scream at this point I really can't be held responsible for my own actions, I was a little lost in the moment)

"If you don't like it, your ass isn't chained to that bleacher, MOVE"

(eye roll from snotty read headed bitch)

Then I got really old school on her... she just thought I was loud before, ha she hadn't seen anything yet!!!

Sunday morning I woke up and could hardly speak and while I would love to think it was because I was so proud of Derek winning his fight, I know better.... it's because I was trying to be the bigger bitch and out do even myself with an amount of volume that I'm pretty sure would have shattered windows, had there been any windows in that arena!

Did I mention that he is fighting again in June.... plenty of time between now and June to drink some hot tea, regain my voice, burn the image of her face into my brain and so help me I'm gonna sit RIGHT.SMACK.DAB behind her again if it kills me!!!

I mean am I wrong here, who goes to any kind of sporting event and then whines about the volume? I guess there's always one in the crowd!!!

Waiter... There's some Dumbass in my Democracy

2009-04-03T09:30:00.001-05:00

Ok I've tried, honestly I have, I tried to keep my mouth shut since all of this bail out crap hit the fan and to be honest I think I've done damn good thus far (that is unless your my mother, in which case I think she's seen my head spin around a full 180 and heard the f-bomb come outta my mouth more than a few times these last few weeks).

I have had it!

I am sick to death with the current administration spending MY tax dollars faster than they can bill me for more!

I'm sick of bailing out the auto industry

I'm sick of bailing out the banks

I'm sick of hearing "how AWFUL Wall St. did today and what ever will it do tomorrow"

I'm sick of the federal government now offering to cover the warranties for the failing auto companies (with my tax dollars you better believe it)

I'm sick of the answer to EVERY effing problem being spend, spend, spend!

I'm sick of Tim Geithner (who by the way is a TOTAL waste of space, but that's just my opinion)

I'm sick of Nancy Pelossi

I'm sick of Congress

I'm sick of the Senate

I'm sick of seeing that a lot (not all but a lot) of Obama's cabinet appointments have not paid some or all of their taxes (you better believe if it were you or me we'd be in jail by now, or at least on the street with nothing to our names)

I freakin HATE (and yes I am aware that's a strong word) Nancy Pelossi

I hate the fear tactics that the current administration is using to get bills passed into laws without having done their homework or hell without even having read the damn bill from start to finish (24 hours to ram thru that HUGE stimulus bill, 24 freakin hours and while we are on this subject can we chalk up one lie to Obama for this right here. He made a campaign promise to the people to let each and every bill that came his way sit on his desk (and have a copy on line for each of us to read) for 5 days before he would sign it in't legislation! Humm 24 hrs ='s 5 days ..... dumbass)

I'm sick of the power grab that has become the Office of the President of the United States

I'm sick of seeing people overstep their responsibilities/constitutional boundaries/job titles and do what ever the hell they want to do ! And who's gonna hold them responsible? (fire company executives, demand bonuses be returned and give out personal information of company executives so that hoards of people can stand on their front lawns while screaming death threats upon their families and scaring their children)

Did I mention that Tim Geithner is a total dumbass, I fear that it may be contagious to those around him on a daily, weekly or even monthly basis.... seriously idiot I swear!

We all know that Obama ran on the platform of "Change" but lets be honest... is this really the kind of change we need in this country? Do you really want your children to inherit trillions upon trillions of debt because we let this administration run buck wild and spend like it's going outta style?

I don't believe this is a Democrat vs Republican issue, I certainly don't believe it's a Black vs White issue, It's not a Right wing vs Left wing issue, what it is boils down to is a right vs wrong issue! And last time I checked right vs wrong is a bipartisan issue!!

Now we have the G20 summit where Obama is going to try to talk other countries into doing just what he has to "stimulate the economy" and you know what... they are all laughing their asses off at what once was the strongest powerhouse of all of the countries in the world, you know the country they used to respect (or at least pretend to) the one that actually had things that were worthy of being respected. We have China on one hand warning us that we don't want to spend so much, because HELLO they own a majority of our debt, and has Obama even stopped to think what would happen if they all of a sudden (due to the poor economic conditions no doubt) decided to quit buying up all of our debt? Yeah you think things are bad now...

Then there is England who has point blank told us, you DO NOT WANT TO BECOME A SOCIALIST economy because hello folks that's what they are and it doesn't work!! Nicholas Sarkozy was quoted as saying "Obama is taking that country to hell" is he the only one who's got a pair big enough to say such things? But if you ask me (which you didn't but I'm gonna tell ya anyway) that is exactly where we are headed with all of this MORE GOVERNMENT, BIG GOVERNMENT attitude!

Hell is there anything Obama thinks can't be fixed by increasing the size of the Government? I just heard last night that now his cabinet has decided to put a "Recession Depression" website up to help those of us who are "rather stressed by the current economic situation" (I'm beginning to think I should have saved this post for my "F-U Friday post, in fact I think I will). Perhaps I will just give them a little ring and see if I can possibly get a little bail out of my own!

You all know that I didn't vote for this, I voted for John McCain. Yes, yes I was bitter for a while that my candidate lost, seeing as how that had never happened to me before it took me a little getting used to the fact that I actually didn't get my way, obviously the American majority weren't made aware of the fact that Momma ALWAYS gets her way. I cried about it for a while, tried to wrap my mind around it and tried to move on with some cautious optimism (ok maybe I wouldn't go that far)... but (and here's where the F you part comes in) F you President Obama for making "moving on" impossible for me. F you President Obama for appointing a bunch of tax cheating crooks to some of the most powerful jobs in this country. F you President Obama for going ape shit and spending millions, nope scratch that, TRILLIONS of hard working tax payers money on some sketchy (at best) plans to stimulate the economy thus leaving my child and my child's children FOREVER in debt that they will NEVER be able to repay. F you Nancy Pelossi for being such a power hungry bitch. F you Tim Geithner for being such an idiot, a tax cheat and a total liar. Oh and F you again Obama for breaking campaign promises left and right since taking office 74 days ago, once a politician always a politician right???

If this is the "change" that everyone who voted for him was looking for, perhaps you should have all just packed up and moved to England I hear they already practice socialism there, and FYI I hear it's not working out so well for them!!

(Please forgive the fact that this post is a bit of a rambling mess, it's just that there is so much that I've left out and so much more that I needed to say, but for times sake and well the fact that I really don't want death threats I felt it necessary to cut this a bit shorter than I had planned mmmmkay)

Stay Tuned....

2009-04-02T12:36:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow's F You Friday post will be a doooooozy!! I promise that it will be thought invoking and probably insulting to some of you :) You know me I like to keep it interesting around the bloggy world. So make sure to tune in tomorrow and please don't be afraid to leave comments, I'm a big girl, I've got my big girl panties ready and waiting to slip into shortly before I hit that "publish" button... so yup I can take it!!

All I will say as a tease (man I love being a tease) is that I think I've done remarkably well in keeping my trap shut for the past 73 days..... tomorrow, well, the cat's outta the bag!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-01T09:23:00.005-05:00

Boring Sunday afternoon's lead to this......(and just so you know this cow was greatly entertained by all of Caleb's dances, songs and all of his silliness, because she stayed just like this for about 10 to 15 minutes just taking it all in, also on a small side note... cows are not big fans of spaghetti noodles I'm just sayin)

Inquiring Minds want to know...

2009-03-30T11:58:00.003-05:00

So a few posts back I asked for you guys to give me some questions, I seem to be in a blogger slump with no new creative post ideas and that seemed like the best way to come up with a good post... so without further ado here are the questions and answers in no certain order

*What was your reaction when you found out you were pregnant (submitted by Jen)*
I still have the pregnancy test (which when you think about it is kinda gross, I mean after all it's almost 4 year old urine on a stick) none the less I was beyond elated... we tried for years on end to get pregnant by EVERY means possible and wham bam thank you mam... finally I got what I had prayed, waited, wanted and wished for all at once.

*Why did you name your son Caleb (submitted by Jonnie)*
To be honest Danny and I had always had a girls name picked out, not sure why we never thought of a boys name! When I went for my umpteenth ultra sound and found out that "it" was going to be a boy and not a girl I bought every baby name book imaginable and we seriously sat down and went thru about 44,000 names. The ONLY name we could agree on was Caleb... and here we are almost 4 years later with our sweet little Caleb William (William was my grandfathers name and my due date (which I didn't come close to) was exactly 3 years to the day that my grandfather passed away, so William was decided for us and a great way to honor my grandfathers memory)

*What is your favorite thing to do with Caleb (submitted by AJ)*
By far our favorite thing to do together is to go to Jump Zone! If you have never been to this place or one like it I highly recommend it... we always have SOOOOO much fun and leave there completely exhausted and ready for a nap (my second favorite thing to do sleep...)

*Do you think you will cry when Caleb goes to school (submitted by Jonnie, this is the last Caleb question I promise)*
Honestly I don't know, I remember crying the first day I had to take him to daycare when I went back to work after my maternity leave but back then he was so new and so little and things were so new to me! I'd like to say that if I do cry it will be happy tears, that he is starting a new phase in his life one where he will make many friends and learn so much about himself... and that I won't be sad that he is growing up too fast but honestly I just don't know!

*What is your favorite color and why (Jen again)*
YELLOW is my favorite color! Believe it or not! I love that it's so bright and so warm, it makes me think of spring and summer and all of the great outdoors!

*Do you have any pets (Jonnie)*
We have one really fat, really spoiled, really neglected cat! Her name is Kitty (yes I know how original) and she and Caleb have a love/hate relationship... sometimes she loves him and sometimes she hates him, I mean after all he moved into her house and took over and now he gets all of her attention!

*What is the last book you read (AJ)*
The 10th Circle by Jodi Picoult... I've read all but one of her books and loved each and every one of them. Funny thing is I always thought I hated to read, you know like in school one time I talked Danny into reading me a book for a book report just so I didn't have to read it myself! Turns out I just hated being told what I had to read..... now there is nothing better than a nice hot bath and a good book to wrap up a long day!

*If you could eat anything for a week straight what would it be (Jen)*
Hands down, didn't even have to think about this question.... if I had to eat just one thing for a week it would be my mothers chicken fried steak (and all the fixin's of course which include mashed potatoes, gravy and sweet green peas... ahhh man now I'm hungry)

*Where did you and Danny have your first date (AJ)*
Leave it to you AJ to make me feel bad that I can't remember for the life of me where we had our first date, but in my own defense our first date was more than 15 years ago (uggg now look what you've done... you've managed to make me feel old too, dad-gum-it!!!)

*What is your favorite memory from your childhood (Jonnie)*
This one I've had to do some thinking on... I would have to say that any and all of my favorite memories from my childhood all include family! We were always big on family get togethers and seeing as how my mom was one of 8 children we always had LARGE family get togethers. I will say that some of the happiest memories from my childhood are from the summers my brother and I would spend in Colorado with my grandparents at their cabin! That place holds sooo many special memories for all of our family.

*What is your favorite kind of chip (AJ)*
Sour Cream and Onion even though they give a girl some rank breath! I love me some sour cream and onion chips (as a side note, I seem to have passed this love on to Caleb).

*Why is your word verification on (Jen)*
To be honest I have no idea how to turn it off... (a little secret here, I'm really ignorant when it comes to all this blogging stuff... I didn't even know it was on.... and to take it a step further I wasn't sure exactly what you were talking about so I googled it... LOL I know... I'm an idiot).

*What is the furthest you have traveled (AJ)*
Canada sadly holds this honor.... and let me just tell you DO.NOT.GO.TO.CANADA. or at least if you should happen to get the itch to go to Canada do not go to Montreal (or any of the French speaking parts of Canada, they are all just a bunch of assholes who HATE people that speak English and will give you the WRONG directions just to get you lost TRUE STORY)still a bit bitter about that whole trip, you know cause we were lost for 4 hours in crack freakin central!!!

*Are your toenails painted, if so what color (AJ)*
This one is gonna really trip you out... once upon a time I tried to be a "girly" girl, I would actually paint my fingernails (back before I started biting them all off down to the bloody nubs) and change the colors to try to coordinate with my outfits... damn I was good! Then well I'm not quite sure if laziness is the right excuse but lets just say I fell out of love with being a "girly" girl and decided that who the heck cares what color my toes are, so to make a long story short I have a few flecks of bright red fingernail polish left on my big toe toenails that I've just been too lazy to take off for about the last 6 months or so (gross I know... it's really disgusting and I think all of the time, "I really need to just sit down and get some polish remover and take the rest of this crap off" but never end up doing it)

And last but not least

*If you could have any kind of party, what would it be (Jen)*
I love formal wear, I honestly think there is nothing better than having your hair done and make up on and putting on a dress that makes you feel B*E*A*U*T*I*F*U*L! Now having said that I cannot tell you the last time I had any reason to wear a formal dress (I'm assuming that it was prom my Sr. year in high school) but Danny and I always talk about going on a cruise and I dream of finding the perfect formal to take with us often! So if I could have any kind of party I wanted it would be a very formal perhaps black tie party where everyone came in their most beautiful dresses and all the men were in Tux's or at least suits and ties!! Ahhh

Well that's it folks... and now it's time for this formal wear dreaming girl to go dawn her most beautiful Fed-Ex uniform and get ready to sweat! And you wonder why I lost that "girly girl" feeling!!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-25T09:57:00.003-05:00

Camping Momma Style

(note the tv remote right inside the tent... small hint that we were in the living room of our house.... what can I say, I'm not much for camping in the great outdoors!!!)

Questions

2009-03-24T09:54:00.003-05:00

Ok, so not so long ago I saw a blog (which for the life of me I can't remember who's it was) that was all about answering the blog readers questions.... I thought that looked like fun, and since I am back up to 14 readers (can you believe I lost one for a few days..... still haven't figured out who it was either) none the less, I thought I would open it up today and ask for questions.

Either this post will be VERY disappointing, or it has the possibility to be VERY fun. So ask away, ask anything and everything you can think of and I will do my level best to answer each and every question. You can leave your question as a comment on this post or you can email me
krissi5436@yahoo.com.

So think, think long and hard about some good questions and ask away :)

(can you tell I'm having a hard time coming up with new blogging material.... I'm in a funk, please stick with me I promise I'll be over it soon)

Bon Voyage

2009-03-20T10:00:00.005-05:00

SISSY'S MOVING

So today I thought I would make it all about the reasons Arkansas is better than Nebraska... so when your ready... read away!

1. Arkansas is home (umm however after a lengthy stay in Nebraska I have no doubt that it will start to feel like home to you, try to resist this "feeling" cause it's all lies, remember ARKANSAS is home!

2. What the hell is a "Cornhusker" anyway? That sounds like some awful slave labor job to me... not really sure that's the college team I'd wanna route for, but I'm just saying.

3. Ummm like ALL of your friends, yeah we all live in Arkansas

4. Where else can you have all 4 seasons in ONE FREAKIN WEEK? You know, Arkansas is cool like that.

5. I'm not sure what the state bird of Nebraska is, but here I'm pretty sure it's the middle finger and that just makes Arkansas THE place for a girl like yourself to live... don't ya think?

6. Arkansas starts with an "A" and seeing as "A" is the first letter of your first name (and both of the boy's names and her name too) plus it's the very first letter in the alphabet its just one more reason Arkansas is way cooler than Nebraska.

7. One most awesome claim to fame for this great state... Matt Jones... ok so that needs to be scratched off my "great things about Arkansas list" damn you Matt Jones!

8. I'm just willing to bet that Nebraska doesn't have the coolest Fed-Ex girl EVER living there! Just saying

9. Ohhh here's a good one... damn nope, just another failure....

10. Arkansas has mountains, Nebraska is just flat and boring (I think, seeing as how I've never actually been to Nebraska I'm just guessing here, really more like grasping for straws so sue me... I don't want you to goooooooooooo!!!!)

All kidding aside I hope that Nebraska treats you better than Arkansas ever did, I hope that your new home is wonderful and warm and makes you say "home at last" when you walk thru the door. I know you and the boys will be so happy to have that sexy beast living under the same roof with you all again, just umm, well, don't forget the little people back here in Arkansas.

Ok now it's your turn, all of you go on over to her page and tell her how much your gonna miss her living in good ol NWA! Have a safe and quick trip! Love ya girl!

AWOL

2009-03-19T11:22:00.003-05:00

Sorry for my recent lack of posting... no real excuse other than just laziness to blame but what ever... it's my blog right! And the good thing is that I know there aren't too many who have been let down seeing as how after almost a year of blogging I only have 14 followers! Really 14... and here I thought I was F.U.N.N.Y! (Turns out my parents must have been lying to me all these years).

None the less where to begin...

Our trip to the ER... yes that seems like where I left off. Caleb's sitter never calls me, NEVER! So when I was at work Friday before last and my phone rang at 4:00 (right smack dab in the middle of my pick ups mind you) I knew something was wrong, upon actually answering my phone I proved my mothers intuition right. Kim was trying to tell me that something had happened but all I could hear was Caleb's hysterical cries in the background. I did manage to get that he had fallen on his head and may need stitches, something about a lot of blood, and she'd rather I come get him and make the call about the ER. I told her I'd be right there (I was less than a mile away) hung up the phone and called Danny, only to realize that I would have to take my work truck back to the terminal and then go get Caleb because HELLO I'm at work in my truck with NO car seat for Caleb.

After driving about 20 miles round trip I finally got there to pick Caleb up, the good news was that he'd calmed down, the bad news, he was still bleeding and it looked like he would indeed need some stitches in his poor little head.

About 3 hours later we left the ER with one sweet little boy, who'd finally stopped bleeding thank goodness and instead of stitches they opted for super gluing his forehead with Durabond :)

I asked Caleb several times thru the course of the evening what had happened and finally on the way home, after stopping for ice cream (what else could make a little boy feel all better) he told me that some kids were telling him to climb up the slide instead of go down it the right way and he got almost to the top and fell over the side head first onto the rocks! So I think to myself "great if he can't resist peer pressure now, he'll make a fine alcoholic, druggie or worse some day"! So we had the talk about how sometimes bigger kids will tell smaller kids to do things that aren't always safe and that if he thinks it's wrong, it probably is and NOT TO DO IT!

None the less he's all better now you can hardly see where the cut was :)

Ok well don't want to overload you so that's it for today... I need to get ready for work and have other things to do around this house before I can walk out that door, hope you all have a wonderful day!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-03-18T12:33:00.001-05:00

Our weekend away

2009-03-12T09:12:00.003-05:00

Sorry this post took me so long to get to, and sorry it will be somewhat short... to be honest I just don't have it in me to post this week! Not sure what my deal is!

None the less our trip to Hot Springs to Oaklawn to watch the horses run was great! The new naughty nighty was a HUGE hit... ha ha get it ... HUGE! LMAO

We didn't win tons of money... in fact we didn't win hardly any money but that was not the point of our trip, so I'm good with that! We ate some awesome food, seriously folks I had a Ruben the size of my head and it was AMAZING!!! Too much awesome food ='s Krissi's work pants Not so much fitting too well this week!

All's well that ends well and this trip was exactly what we needed... just to get away for a while!

My next post will be all about our first trip to the ER with Caleb last Friday before our trip on Saturday! Good Times! Good Times!

Finally Friday

2009-03-06T08:03:00.002-06:00

Thank God it's finally Friday, and do you know what that means???? That means tomorrow is Saturday, and by about 12 or so I am going to be planting my rear in a box seat at Oaklawn racing track! That's right baby, it's time to watch the horses run, drink a few alcoholic beverages, smoke way to many cigarettes, talk to friends (and probably some strangers, due in part to the alcoholic drinks)eat some of the best corn beef sandwiches and Ruben's in the world, say words like trifecta, exacta and win, place and show, and all of this while CHILDLESS!! It cannot get here soon enough!

Major thanks going out to my parents for willingly, at the last minute keeping our heathen, I mean son! He was supposed to be staying with my brother and sister in law, but then my niece came down with the flu... so that idea went in the toilet!

I will be sure to post, and hopefully have some pictures as well come Monday!!

Enjoy your weekend... and it's ok to be jealous... I'd be jealous if I were you!!

Monday (aka Tinkerbell ass kickin)

2009-03-03T08:55:00.002-06:00

Now before you get all "up in arms" on me let me say that I have nothing against Tinkerbell, the little Disney fairy, she's cool as shit and Caleb tells me that I am pretty like her so I'm totally down with her!

However, Tinkerbell, the black weiner dog, that I had the most unfortunate pleasure of meeting yesterday, TOP.OF.MY.SHIT.LIST!

My day at work started off bad, and just continually got WORSE yesterday. It was one of those days where you actually stop and think "can all of this shit REALLY be happening to me, in ONE DAMN day?"

Danny called yesterday morning and told me that he put about 5 deliveries on my truck, they were all "runners" (places way, way out of the way of his normal route) (this is the part where I assume that I do NOT need to tell you again that I don't do deliveries... I was hired strictly for pick ups)

So none the less I drive off into oblivion (have I mentioned I really am NO GOOD with maps) looking for 5 houses in the middle of Tim-Buc-too, miss the first two houses REPEATEDLY (as in drove by both of them OVER and OVER and OVER again) which would not have happened if some backassward hicks would put FREAKIN numbers on either their house, or their mail box (seriously there are two places to put them, I would prefer that you put them on both, but if you don't feel so inclined to put them on both your house and your mail box, for the love of all that is good put them on one or the other.... or quit ordering shit to be delivered Mmmmkay)

So that started me off with a bang, my good mood had quickly faded into "I'm going to cut my husband" so needless to say I was thrilled when I came upon my last delivery (an hour and a half later... seriously it should not take an hour and a half to deliver 5 stops...) I got the two boxes outta my truck hiked my pissy ass up their long NARROW driveway(because my truck would not fit up it) and that's where I met Tinkerbell. She barked and yipped a little on my way to the front door but no Kujo yet so I was good (if you believe that your an IDIOT). Left both packages on the porch, rang the doorbell, took off for the truck..... this is the part where, if you are even the slightest bit "sensitive to animal rights" you might wanna just go ahead and click that little red "x" at the top right hand corner of your page.

The guy who (I will assume) lived at the house comes to the door to retrieve his packages and all of a sudden, annoying little Tinkerbell decides to turn into "bitch, here's where the rubber meets the road and I tear your effin leg off" Tinkerbell!

I kid you not, this damn dog takes in after my ass, starts biting my boot and working her way up my leg the whole time Captain Dumbass that lives there is standing in his doorway watching yelling "Tinkerbell no, bad dog"! Now this guy was fully dressed minus his shoes and you think when he saw his bitch of a dog start to attack the Fed-Ex girl he'd get his lazy ass in gear and come outside to pry her off of me... but no, Captain Dumbass doesn't move a muscle.

(Here's where I get pissed, I've had enough) this has been going on for about 30 seconds (which in my book was about 15 seconds longer than it should have) Captain Dumbass is still standing in the doorway yelling at Tinkerbell to stop, bad, no and I'm DONE!

I turn to Captain Dumbass and yell "I'm going to punt your dog across your yard if you don't get her off of me" (cause seriously it was either that, or she was going to take my scanner across the top of her head and I was worried that honestly that would have killed her)

To which he replies "don't hurt my dog, if you kick her it will hurt her"

all the while I'm kicking my leg wildly and just in the nick of time I managed to get the sweet, innocent (read HUGE fire-breathing BITCH) off my leg and high tail it for the truck, get in my truck and take off (here's where I really wish I could tell you that I heard a LOUD THUD but unfortunately I didn't run over the dog or her owner for that matter).

I called Danny and ripped him a new one, smoked like 50 cigarettes between where I was and the time I got back into town and managed to calm myself down so that I could officially start my day with all my pick ups.

About an hour later is when it really hit me, that I just totally got my ass kicked by a wenier dog named Tinkerbell.... I'm such a pussy!!

**small side note here**
After my night was over and I had gotten my truck back to the terminal, was leaving for the night to come home to my boys, it would seem that I apparently pissed off a county mounty who proceeded to scare the shit outta me and blue light me for NO REASON at all!! Just long enough to get me to pull over so this captain dumbass could speed around me to get home faster himself!! ASSHOLE!!

What a way to start the day

2009-03-02T08:43:00.001-06:00

This morning Caleb came and got in bed with me a little after 7 am. I was not thrilled at the thought of getting up right then so I talked him into sleeping a little while in mommy's bed. When he finally woke up again it was about 5 till 8, he rolled over and in his sweetest little boy voice said "mommy, I love your new hair, its beautiful"!

I can get used to this :)

Cold Saturday

2009-02-28T20:44:00.004-06:00

Two highlights to my day....

I got my hair done (see below) added some honey blonde highlights and some bronze ones as well :) Something different, a change that was desperately needed! (please ignore the pink bra in the back ground)

And #2 ... this sweet little boy went to bed tonight, with his best buddy.....(see below)

Other than that, it was freakin cold, snowing all day long and I'm sick of winter!!!

My 8's

2009-02-27T08:43:00.002-06:00

Thanks to my friend Jonnie (you can find her here) I came up with the following post!!

My list of 8’s:

8 TV shows I watch:

1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Private Practice
3. ER ( I am so so so so sad that this is the FINAL season for ER I have watched it for the last 10 + years, uggg so sad)
4. LOST
5. The City (yes I am ashamed that I watch anything on MTV)
6. ANYTHING on Food Network (I got hooked on this when I was pregnant with Caleb and put on bed rest, there is NOTHING to watch all day long, and thus I discovered the Food Network) My favorites are Paula Dean & Bobby Flay
7. Survivor
8. Brothers and Sisters

Favorite Restaurants (random order):

1. I have to totally agree with Jonnie and say Suree's (even though it is no longer in operation, I would almost give my left leg to be able to eat there again, it just brings back SOOOO many family memories and the food, oh the food it was soooo wonderful)
2. Olive Garden
3. Chiquitas (I miss being in Mena if only to eat here)
4. Red Robin (the burgers are awesome)
5. Fire House Subs
6. Village Inn (great place for breakfast)
7. Las Fajitas (Bella Vista, I used to eat there at least once a week, and they knew what I was going to order when they saw me walk thru the door...that's just good service)
8. McDonald's (not for their food, because it leaves a lot to be desired, but because Caleb always has soooo much fun playing)

Things that happened to me today:

1. Seeing as how it's only 8:57am I think I'll reflect upon yesterday.
2. For the first time I got soaking wet at work, Fed-Ex + Down pour= SUCKS
3. Caleb did not throw a fit when I dropped him off at the sitters (this is always something to celebrate in our family)
4. I did 3 deliveries for Danny, and as any of you who read my blog know... I DON'T DO DELIVERIES!! I do pick ups! (and mind you I didn't even complain at all... I am the best wife in the world)
5. Fixed BBQ pulled pork for dinner
6. Changed our hotel reservations for our Oaklawn weekend (only one week away and I am oh so ready and excited to go)
7. Thought about calling in sick to work, I was so tired all day long
8. Learned how to turn on and off the windshield wipers in my big truck

Things I look forward to:

1. Oaklawn weekend!!
2. Not turning 30 this year (or next year, or the year after... in fact since I turn 29 this year... I will continue turning 29 FOREVER.)
3. Nap's
4. Family visits
5. CAKE concert
6. Caleb's laugh (this kid has one funny laugh, which ALWAYS makes us laugh right along with him)
7. Caleb's birthday
8. getting to sleep in late

Things I wish for:

1. Health and happiness for all of my friends and family (this yr has been full of sickness for us all)
2. More friends (who can honestly say, no thanks, I've got enough friends)
3. An easy refi on our house this winter (YIKES)
4. A big tax return (even though I am afraid we will be owing taxes DOUBLE YIKES)
5. Did I already say health... cannot get over how sick we have all been
6. My cousin getting out of prison SOON!!
7. A better sense of style (I have to agree with you on this one too Jonnie, my style is lackin)
8. The Maserati that passed me on 540 the other day... OH MY GAWD it was BEAUTIFUL!!

Ok so those are my 8's! What would your 8's be?? If you've got the time (and nothing else to blog about ... like me....) leave me a comment and go do your own post... I wanna know what your watching on TV for crying out loud! LOL

I did a bad, bad thing

2009-02-24T13:18:00.003-06:00

I made a purchase in the last few days, that my husband knows NOTHING about! (Here's to hoping he doesn't read my blog)

We are about to take a "kid free" trip to Hot Springs, AR for one of our annual Oaklawn Racing weekends. We will have each other all to ourselves and I thought this deserved something extra!! Something small, black, and sexy extra! So I went on line to an adult lingerie store and ordered this

And while, I am quite sure I won't look as good in it as she does..... I don't think I'll be hearing any complaints outta hubby!

I love surprises!! It's killing me that it came UPS today and I haven't told anyone about it.... now if only I can keep Caleb's little yapper shut! He saw the UPS Guy and I can just imagine what he will have said to daddy about it by the time I get home from work tonight.

Just in case he does decide to rat me out... I've hidden the loot where no one will find it :)

Going the Distance

2009-02-23T09:33:00.004-06:00

I have a confession to make.... it will be shocking...... those of you with weak constitutions should turn away now......... please click here if you are under the age of 18........ leave now if you can't take the heat of what is about to be confessed....... seriously........ you have been warned!

I have never been to a concert! Yes, yes you heard me right N.E.V.E.R had the wonderful experience of seeing a big named band live in concert! And for years I've sulked, pouted and been rather pissy about it.

Well NO MORE! As of May 1st, 2009 I am checking this one VERY IMPORTANT thing off my bucket list!

Guess who's coming to Fayetteville....

and guess who ordered their tickets yesterday....
oh yeah... that's right... I'm "Going the distance, I'm going with speed, I'm all alone, all alone in my time of need" (lyrics for those of you who are not well versed in CAKE music) I'm so freakin excited I just almost cannot stand myself!!!

So today's mission should you choose to accept it... tell me about your first concert, who was it? Where was it? What year (or aprox. time frame, as if the band won't give that answer away) seriously I want to know what I'm in for... help a girl out!

Move over Maybelline

2009-02-19T09:00:00.002-06:00

Apparently I have what most women would die to have according to every other commercial on television these days, and how dare I be ungrateful for it!

Max Factor, Maybelline, Revlon, and Cover Girl can all kiss my ass! My eye lashes are thick, plump, long and luscious and pissing me off! Is it against some rule to trim your eye lashes? Cause if not I'm all over it!!!

It seems I cannot wear my sunglasses without having to scoot them down the bridge of my nose so my damn eye lashes don't hit the lenses. Normally this doesn't bother me, however, now in my new found profession as a box monkey, every time I bend over to pick up a stupid box my sunglasses try to slide completely off my face, which results in me having to stop, readjust and then go back to trying to get said box picked up and into my truck! This has to waste like, oh I don't know, 10 millionths of a second at EVERY.STOP. And is beginning to become a great pain in my ass. Not to mention it means I have to touch my face with my N.A.S.T.Y dirty, box monkey hands and that alone grosses me out every time.

Forget wearing mascara... I just plain can't, don't need to in the first place, but seriously if I put mascara on it's going to be a bad, bad day for all who come across my path!

So I'm asking, is there really some unwritten rule that says you can't trim your eyelashes? If not, would I be completely out of line in giving mine a little touch up? Just a little snip, snip I swear!!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-02-18T10:29:00.002-06:00

So today is not the "typical" Wordless Wednesday.. but a less words Wednesday!

All I will say is TAXES SUCK... and I really need a MUCH better filing system for things such as fuel receipts, tire receipts and truck service receipts... SERIOUSLY!!

Here's to hoping I find LOADS of write-offs!!

Weekend

2009-02-16T08:20:00.005-06:00

So this past weekend we had my 8 year old niece stay the night with us, Caleb loves when she comes to stay! Bless her heart Caleb drives her C-R-A-Z-Y with is normal 3 year old antics but she plays so well with him and meets most of his demands.

The three of us were all snuggled up on Caleb's bed watching Madagascar 2 on Saturday night, when the cat decided to get nosey and see what we were all up to. When she jumped up onto the bed she landed right in the big middle of K causing her to say "oooohhhhh" (the conversation that followed made me pee on myself just a little)

Caleb: "did kitty hurt your boy parts K?"

Me: (trying not to fall out of the bed laughing so hard) "Caleb, K is a girl, so she doesn't have boy parts"

Caleb: "well it sounded like kitty hurt K's boy parts, cause that's the sound you make when they get hurt"

It's the little things in life that keep me going most days, and this is one that I won't soon forget!

> In other news<

My hubby and I had a date this weekend for the first time in, well, I can't remember the last time we went on a date of any sorts. Now, before you get all "ahhh, how sweet, they went on a Valentines date" lets remember this is my husband we are talking about here, so that awww crap is for the birds, this date had nothing to do with the fact that it was anywhere near the 14th of February and everything to do with the fact that he's had several people tell him how good the new movie "Taken" is.

It was awesome, action packed (which I usually don't like all that much) but still had a strong story line and was just all around, two stubby thumbs up :)

After our movie we went to a late lunch, early dinner at none other than Red Lobster and I am sad to say that will be my last rodeo with Red Lobster.

The food was awful, the service was worse, and all around the whole "time to eat without our child" experience SUCKED! I was very disappointed to say the least, but Danny on the other hand could not be any more ecstatic about it. He has always loved seafood, yet hated Red Lobster! He says that their food is always over cooked, and under taste! And as of yesterday I have to agree with him, it was a sad, sad day for me to have to willingly, or more wantfully give up one of my favorite restaurants but at least I still have Olive Garden!

A Tale of Two Marriages (aka my 100th post)

2009-02-10T11:33:00.000-06:00

Several of you have asked, thanks to my ultra-informative post about me, about the fact that I have been married twice to the same man. So I thought I would tell you the story of "us".

It begins like most "high school sweetheart" stories you hear, young, stupid, and in love! Danny and I dated off and on from the time I was in the 6th grade and he was in the 8th (wow I suddenly feel freakin OLD). We met at church camp of all places, which I later found out he went to, to impress a different girl that was at camp that year, turns out God (or possibly Satan himself) had different plans for that man of mine!

Lord almighty we had our fare share of drama and sometimes were off again more than on, but we always had a way of getting back together at least every other week throughout high school:)

So it was decided that after I graduated we would get married (I'm pretty sure I decided this all on my own come to think of it) nonetheless I spent my entire Sr. year of HS planning my wedding instead of doing all the "fun stuff" that most normal people do. I graduated HS on May 15th and we got married on May 16th (never mind I was 17 at the time and not even pregnant... you know the legitimate reason to get hitched) we decided to do it that way like a two for one deal for all our relatives, come to the graduation and stick around for some wedding cake! LOL

Thus our first marriage was official, as I drove us away from the Country Club reception, wedding dress piled up on top of me (Danny was umm unable to drive due to a minor traffic violation that left him with a suspended drivers license... I think they call it DWI.... oh the good old days) so away we went into the sunset to begin our blissful life as a happily married couple.

Only, well, it SUCKED! We fought, we argued, we cussed and threw things at each other, we were both so stubborn that neither of us would say sorry or admit defeat, we openly admitted to each other that we HATED each other, we screamed, neither of us cleaned because why should I have to clean your mess? We were too ashamed to ask for any kind of guidance (because hello I was 17, or 18 and I knew what I was doing) we failed miserably.

At 18 years of age I stood before a judge in the Polk County court house and asked for him to grant a divorce based on "irreconcilable differences" when what I really wanted to say was that I had screwed up, married an asshole and wanted out. The judge was a DICK, sure he granted my divorce petition, but he did it with such condescension and presumption that it made me feel like a total failure. I can remember having a talk with my dad that afternoon sitting out on the front porch of my parents home (which I had moved back into at this point) and saying as I choked back tears "who will ever want me now, I'm 18 and divorced" and that is honestly how I felt (low of all lows).

So what now? I'm a free woman, divorced, and still in small town no where.... So I did what any girl in my situation would do... I sewed my wild oats (I'll save this post for a later date) ended up in a town about 80 miles from where I was born and raised dating a guy who was NOT good 'to' me and NOT good 'for' me and suddenly I started to realize that things happen for a reason. (I totally laugh out loud every time I think of this particular guy because he is now one very FAT very UGLY guy and I have a tendency to think to myself... Karma is a bitch buddy).

None the less fast forward to about two years after our divorce, throw in a completely FREAK Ice storm (I know what your thinking... you guys get a lot of freak ice storms in AR... not really I swear....) by some strange chance I found out that Danny was also in town at his mom's house and decided to call just to see how he was doing, I mean hell we had no power, I was iced in he was iced in might as well make the most of it right. Turns out he was just in town visiting, he was working for a company that sent him all around the US to fix air planes and was actually living in up state New York at the time.

When the ice had thawed it was time for him to go, and I felt an all too familiar twinge in my heart when he left.... Turns out he sent me a ticket to come up for a week and visit him and I jumped at the chance. Aside from getting lost in Canada for 4 hours in crack freakin central (also totally a post for another time), our visit was AWESOME. He and I talked about me moving up there to live with him and all that was left to do was to convince my parents that this was in fact a good idea! Ha... (will save this post for another time as well)

As luck would have it, the contract that he was working on ended before I got packed and moved so he came back to our home town and we started all over again. Only this time we moved away from the town where everyone knows your name and your business and while I will admit there have been several bumps along the way, we managed to get through them all and have a wonderful, all be it most days a pain in the butt, 3 year old, a house, our own business and all the love that two people could have!

I am a lucky, lucky lady (I don't spend nearly enough time reflecting upon that).

So there you have it guys, the story of us! So with much love it's to my 2nd marriage to the same man that I dedicate this my 100th post!

Almost 100

2009-02-09T07:21:00.002-06:00

So this is my 99th post (woo hoo)! And I am working on my 100th to make sure it's super special, wonderful and spectacular!

However today I am asking for encouragement from everyone. Our family got some news yesterday that none of us was prepared for, none of us wanted, and I'm not willing to accept yet. Not quite sure what I am going to do with it, but so help me I am going to do something!

Things in life don't always go the way we think they should, you don't always get what you wish for, turn lemons into lemonade yadda yadda yadda that craps for the birds! I'm pissed! Seems the Arkansas Dept. of Corrections made a little slip up, read HUGE FARKIN SCREW UP and now two days before my cousin was set to walk thru those gates back into the arms of his family... ummm parole denied! If you don't know the story read here You can bet our family is writing letters, you can bet that this boy has more prayers offered up on his behalf that just about anybody out there, but still I feel like there is more than I can/should do... just not sure what that is yet but I plan to find out.

Have I mentioned that I hate ADC!!!!

"F" you Friday

2009-02-06T10:28:00.002-06:00

So today I am taking a page from one of my favorite bloggers Cristin at Tiptoeing Through the Tulips and making a "F" You Friday post!

So without further ado....

Dear Bentonville Electric Company,

I am writing today to give you a small but very meaningful award. This month, and lets not forget last month, you successfully managed to make my blood pressure bolt through the roof in 2 seconds flat (that is some kind of record, only rivaled by my son himself during childbirth). Last month was bad enough when the bill came in the mail and was over $300 umm yeah, can you say HOLY SHIT??? I spent the rest of the day after having opened the mail trying to figure out just which kidney I could live without in order to pay your farking bill! I cringed when writing out the check and thought seriously about alternative means of power, I'm still thinking there is some way to take all of the energy I've been using to wipe butts and noses around this house and put it to some good use, you know like toasting a piece or bread (more on that when I've patented it, don't want to give you bastards anything else to steal from me).

But yesterday, oh yesterday when that lovely bill came like clockwork in the mail... yesterday you got my attention like a gun shot to the face! I opened that bill just waiting to see how much difference it made that I had turned the thermostat down those 2 degrees, to see how much of an improvement it had made that we have built a fire in our fireplace to help "supplement" heat in this 1300 sq ft house of ours for the last who knows how many days, to see that all those lights being turned off when we walk out of the room really does account for something!! So you can imagine my surprise when the FARKING BILL is $100 higher than last month.

I didn't hesitate to pick up the phone and call your wonderful customer service rep. rip off her head and shit down her neck when she answered and in the nicest, condescending tone she could muster and asked me "what seems to be the problem". After giving her a good verbal ass whoopin' over the phone, she offered to have someone come out and re-read our meter which was lovely of her. However when she called back yesterday afternoon while I was at work... AT A STOP where I couldn't answer the phone (which was part of her EVIL plan all along I am sure) and left me an all too chipper voice mail telling me that the reading was correct and we owe the amount printed on our bill and then decided to toss in her words of wisdom "maybe its a new appliance pulling more energy than you guys are used to using" I decided right then and there I would be awarding you guys the award for F YOU (you money grubbing bastards)!!

Cherish this award, shine it and pass it all around your office so that it has time to sit atop every desk there, you can tell stories to every customer that walks through the door about how you "totally had a lady by the balls and made her alone pay for all of the overtime for those electric guys after that ice storm" you might even let the "employee of the month" take it home one weekend but only if they promise to keep it in their sights at all times to make sure it is well kept and protected!

You guys deserve this award today more than anyone else I know! So this is your chance, you bunch of money grubbin' bastards, your 15 minutes of fame... FARKIN ENJOY!!

All's well that ends well

2009-02-05T08:10:00.004-06:00

Man am I glad that yesterday is behind us. Let me say thank you so much for all of your prayers, I apparently gave birth to a Rock Star 3 years ago! We went for his blood draw and while I was sure I would need the assistance of 4 nurses they provided me with 2 (their loss, I thought). Caleb and I climbed up on the table and I assumed the position of restraining his legs with my legs and his arms with my arms(I looked something like a mama crab all wrapped around this boy of mine) while one nurse grabbed one arm and the other stood directly in front of us to help hold his legs, out came the needle and the dreaded "your going to feel a little stick" was said and just when I was at my best, ready to walk out of there with a black eye, and busted lip from my flailing child the strangest thing happened.... NOTHING.... and I really mean nothing, Caleb didn't so much as whimper, whine, thrash or moan. He sat there in true little Rock Star form and watched the nurse draw his blood without so much as a tear in his eye. Momma on the other hand felt like she could pass smooth out at any second but I managed to keep it together.

Needless to say Caleb was the coolest kid at daycare yesterday, with all his battle wounds to show and stickers to flaunt and he was all about that!

When Daddy picked him up, he took his little champ to Chic Fill A to play and eat as a reward for being such a brave boy and the two of them had a great time.

Momma got home from work last night and after such a long day filled with all kinds of stressful situations Caleb was worn out (so was I if anyone else cares) so it wasn't long before I got him in the bath and got him to bed. This was the last thing I saw last night before I went to bed myself

You will notice that I said I put him in his bed... however he didn't seem to want to stay there and ended up in his hall passed out cold. I did manage to get him up and back into his bed and he didn't so much as move he was exhausted!

Update #1

2009-02-04T12:23:00.002-06:00

I paid $50 for NOTHING at the Allergy Dr. this morning ... that makes momma oh so happy!

There were no needles involved and Caleb was a true ROCK STAR! However the testing that they use has a "control" spot that they prick him with included in with all of the other things like milk, dairy, pet dander etc. and wouldn't you know that the control that is supposed to flare up DIDN'T work!!

Thus we are going at 1:30 to have his blood drawn (I am not thinking that this is going to go so well) I know how bad I hate to have MY blood drawn... pretty sure I am going to hate this worse. The worst thing he's been subjected to thus far is having his shots and at least that is once and done and over with quick, this he will have to sit still for and I can't make any promises!

Will update this evening when I get home from work and let you all know how it goes!

Prayers Please

2009-02-03T23:18:00.002-06:00

Just a quick post tonight, mainly cause I'm exhausted and ready for bed (should have been there at least 2 hours ago).

Tomorrow morning at 9:30 I am taking my sweet, sweet, not so mild tempered little boy to the allergy Dr. to be tested for food allergies. We have been fighting some MAJOR skin issues for as long as I can remember Caleb will tell you "my tummy is broke out" or "my booty is broke out" but this is like the worst eczema/hives/I don't even know what it qualifies as it's just that AWFUL. His Dr. seems to think that he has a food allergy, more than likely milk so we are going to find out for sure.

Please keep us in your prayers, this appointment lasts two hours and involves MANY needles from what I understand (I am hoping that this is false information.... praying even that it it) and of course Danny will be working so Mama will be the one there to have to hold him down and make everything ok. I am really not sure how this will all go.

So yeah lots of prayers and I will update you guys as soon as I know something!

Thanks!!!

Fascinating and Factual

2009-02-02T10:50:00.002-06:00

So it's Monday and for once in my life, I am EXCITED about going to work! Yes, yes you read that first sentence right and why is it that I am so excited about going to work today?? Because that means that I will be OUT.OF.THIS.HOUSE!!

Anyhow I thought I would be really random today and let you all in on a few fascinatingly strange facts that make me... me. Some of these you may know and some of them I can bet you don't

1. I have two pet peeves (well actually I have a lot more but these two are at the tip top of my list) First toilet paper should ALWAYS come over the top of the roll, I have been known to go to people's houses and change the way their toilet paper is hung and Second I simply cannot stand to have wet hair in my hands like as in when you are washing your hair and the hair that falls out THAT wet hair makes my skin crawl... needless to say not looking so good for me to have a career in cosmetology!

2. I bite my fingernails mercilessly, I know it's disgusting and I try to make myself stop but there is just no stopping me. My brother does this as well... do you think it might be genetic?

3. My favorite meal in the world is my mom's chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy and green peas.... and when I eat this meal the only RIGHT way to eat it is to put my peas into the whole that I carve out in my mashed potatoes and then cover them with gravy! It's what I do best!

4. I much prefer baths over showers, and more often than not I wash my hair in our kitchen sink (so if you come to my house and see a bottle of shampoo sitting by the kitchen sink.. now you know why)

5. At 28 years old I have a partial :( This is a great source of embarrassment for me it makes me feel OLD and stupid for not taking better care of my teeth growing up

6. I rarely drink anything besides Dr. Pepper (this contributed to #5 in a great way) and if I do try to be a little healthier about what I drink... it's Mtn. Dew!

7. Sometimes I completely forget to eat... there have been many days where it's after 4 in the afternoon when I discover that I've not had a bite to eat all day long

8. I never in my wildest dreams thought that I (we in this case) would own our own home :) And this is one thing in my life that I am very proud of!

9. **SHOCKER** I have been married to the same man TWICE!

10. I hate (with a passion) to blow my nose, this lead to sinus surgery about 2 years ago and to be honest even though I know how important it is that I blow it, I still find myself resisting!

11. I am addicted to The Hills on MTV! It makes me feel young to watch it and think that one of those characters could be me (LAUGH) (this drives my husband crazy)

12. I wish I had bigger boobs, but could NEVER go thru with actually having plastic surgery to have a breast enhancement no matter how much I try to justify it in my mind. So I just whine and complain about the boobs that God gave me (or the lack there of that Caleb left me with after nursing)

Ok that's all for now! How many of you have strange things about yourself you are just dieing to post? Come on... I can't be the only odd ball out there. I urge you all to do a post like this one, it's good clean fun and we can all learn a little more about all of our bloggy friends! Leave me a comment if you do a post like this so I can be sure to read all your strange facts :)

Have a great Monday!

Fed up, frustrated, and just plain DONE

2009-01-31T10:36:00.003-06:00

Since January 1 we have not had a single week in our house without sickness (I think it has something to do with the Obama Administration personally, but I'll save that post for another time). Started the year off right with puking, "sicking up", diarrhea, and some gawd awful stomach cramps. I mean what better way to say Happy New Year than with a mouth full of puke while sitting on the can, can I get an AMEN?? It then progressed to Pink eye (woo hoo) ear infection and now on to what we all have which can only be described as THE CRUD FROM HELL!! I have taken Caleb to the Dr. twice already and we are only one month into this new year, you can see how this would not be looking all that promising for the remainder of this year. We all sound like 50+ year smokers (and ok lets face it Danny and I should sound that way because we ARE smokers) but Caleb well he's not, nor do we smoke anywhere around him, not in the house, not in the car and not even in the same general vicinity as him when we are outside (so spare me the lecture, today is not the day).

It is safe to say that today I am at my wits end, I am done, I resign my post and relinquish my duties as mom, mommy, mother and wife. I am about to start packing my bags and will be gone before this post is posted! I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, and furthermore I am tired of being the only one in this house that takes care of everyone else but never gets taken care of herself!!!! (yes I know this is coming across a one big pity party... but it's how I feel today so either humor me and keep reading or don't either way suits me just fine)

I have zero patients left which is very apparent to my three year old, who has managed to push more of my buttons this morning in the 4 hours he's been awake than in the last 3 years he's been alive! I've got nothing for energy and at this point even if I could stomach those nasty energy drinks I'm sure all it would do is laugh on the way back out, and with my luck I would be out of toilet paper to wipe with!!

The snot... oh my goodness... the snot is enough to make me wanna super glue nostrils shut in this house! Every time I turn around I see SNOT! Then there is the need to chase down the perp with the snot running down his face and hog tie him long enough to actually wipe it, which is always followed by irritating whining about how his nose hurts and I just hurt it worse. Then there is my favorite comment, one that has just recently surfaced in this house and is about to PUSH me off the ledge that is my sanity "I don't like you anymore" well you know what kid... I don't like me very much right now either, so take a number and stand in line... I WAS HERE FIRST and for once this is all about ME!!!

So here's to hoping that nap time lasts about 6 hours today in this house or else!!!!

Rest in Peace

2009-01-30T12:30:00.003-06:00

Today was the service for my friend Colby, it seemed fitting that on the cusp of what is quite possibly the worst ice storm to ever hit our area we said good bye today, he lived and loved and will always be remembered in the hearts of everyone who had the good fortune to meet him. May you rest in peace Colby, we will see you soon.

Colby Phillip Curran, 24, former Gentry, Arkansas resident, died January 23, 2009, at his home in Springdale, Arkansas. Born May 21, 1984 in Bentonville, Arkansas, he was the son of Larry Dean Curran and Lou Ann Phillips Curran. Colby was a graduate of Gentry High School and was a disabled jailer with the Washington County Sheriffs Department. He loved the outdoors and spending time with his girls. He was a member of the First United Methodist Church in Gentry, Arkansas.

A January to remember

2009-01-28T15:49:00.004-06:00

Let it be said that we will not forget this ice storm for years to come. We here at casa de Lindy have been VERY fortunate not to have lost power at all, and I DO NOT say this lightly what so ever. There are more than 85,000 people here in NW Arkansas without power. According to the local new media those people are being told that it will be Saturday at the earliest before they get their power back :( There have also been 14 people so far that have died as a result of this latest FREAK storm.

Today I got out and took a few more pictures around our house and thought I would post a few just so you can all see what we've been living thru

"Let there be ICE"

2009-01-27T15:50:00.005-06:00

And lots of it! We now have almost 2 inches of ice outside and by the grace of God we still have power (at least for now, the lights have been flickering off and on all afternoon, so I'm guessing it's only a matter of time).

So before we lose power for who knows how long I thought I would post some pictures of the weather here in good ol' NW Arkansas.

Ice, Ice Baby!!

2009-01-26T17:32:00.002-06:00

Ok so we are back from the Dr. and let me just say what a difference 30 minutes can make! We left the roads were fine, made it thru the Dr. appt and the roads went to hell in a hand basket! It was like a 15 mile an hour drive home!

Caleb has
#1 - Cold and AWFUL NASTY sounding cough

#2 - Ear infection

#3 - Pink eye!!

He is about a pitiful as they come, poor guy! Now not only is his nose running away with him, his eye is all cruddy and awful and well his demeanor isn't much better (but who can blame him).

Ice is EVERYWHERE outside and I am anxious for Danny to get home... he should be headed into the terminal as we speak so say a few extra prayers that he makes it home safe and sound.

I have stuffed peppers cooking in the oven as we speak (figured I had better make tonight's meal good since we may be on a very limited ICE diet for the next few days if we get all the ice and crap they are calling for)!!

Until next time... stay in and stay warm.. and stay WELL for crying out loud!!

No rest for the weary

2009-01-26T09:43:00.003-06:00

I don't have to work today! So one would naturally think that a day off would be spent doing fun or possibly even lazy things right? WRONG I get to take one sick little boy to the Dr. and prepare for the impending ice storm that is supposed to hit our area tonight.

Caleb came down with a horrible cough/hopefully just cold over the weekend, which is no doubt because we were in his Dr.'s office last week due to a little scare he gave me on Thursday. Have I mentioned how much I HATE going to the Dr.'s. I swear that even if he's not sick, by the time we leave that office he is!!! Don't they know how to disinfect?????? None the less I think Caleb may also have pink eye or some kind of eye infection on top of his awful cold and since the weather is supposed to turn bad tonight and the good lord only knows when we will be able to get out of this house again I figured it is better to be safe than sorry and take him in today.

Now about the weather...... mother nature and I don't always tend to see eye to eye. She sees fit to reek havoc with things such as ice and snow and I see fit to curse her! Between tonight and Wednesday we are supposed to get upwards of and inch of freezing rain! LOVELY. That means power outage for sure, umm yeah and did I mention that our entire house is ELECTRIC! Our heat... electric.... our hot water... electric.... our stove.... electric.... YIPPY EFFIN SKIPPY! This means that we will be heating our house with our wood fire place (which is intended for looks only) we are going to be COLD! And we will also be cooking in it or on the grill... umm can you say hot dogs for everyone! On a small side note, we did however buy graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate bars to make Smores! Caleb and I made a few last night in the fire place and they turned out magnificent!!

I am still waiting to find out when the funeral for my friend that passed away suddenly is... hoping that they will wait till the weather has cleared so that I don't have to try to drive over there in the ice. Thank all of you for the well wishes and the prayers. I will post again and let you know how things go at the Dr. today.... you know when we hopefully still have power :)

Too young

2009-01-23T23:19:00.002-06:00

A few weeks ago I got an unexpected message on my Myspace page from a very dear friend that I had lost touch with a few years back. He was actually the little brother of a guy that I once dated, and I was giddy with excitement that we were back in touch. I called my mom (uhh hello cause she's my bestfriend) and told her all about the goings on in his life and what all had happened in the time that we haven't known each other. She had never met him, but knew of his family and knew that I held the utmost respect for them and the way that they had treated me in the somewhat short time that I was "part of their family".

This friend had a very bad wreck a few years back, he had been on a motorcycle that he and his brother had built and a woman on her cell phone quite literally ran over him. He died that day and was brought back to life by the measures of the EMT's and the Dr.'s. He had endured 9 of the most awful rehabilitation surgeries since this time but was back on the mend and getting back to life. He had married and divorced his wife and they have 2 of the most beautiful little girls you've ever laid eyes on ages 3 and 4, and this was his inspiration to keep going in life.

I got a phone call tonight from my sister in law as Danny, Caleb and I sat down to eat dinner at one of our favorite Chinese restaurants telling me that James (my brother, who is a police officer) had been called out to a 911 call last night and that my friend Colby, age 24, had died of a massive heart attack apparently with his girls by his side.

The only thing I can think is that we were planning a play date for our kids to go to Jump Zone, that those two beautiful little girls are going to grow up without the love and humor and wit of their father and that they will have to walk down the isle one day and not have him by their side where he should be, that his parents hearts must be in a million and one pieces right now, that his brothers must be completely devastated, that I can't stop the tears from running down my face and I am afraid that my sobs will wake Caleb or Danny for that matter, that I feel like I am overreacting to this because the two of us had drifted apart and hadn't really known each other in a long time, that time for his family will forever be measured since his death and not in days till his next birthday, that I hate the fact that I know this hurt and yet cannot imagine how devastating this is for his family (because like me they are all about FAMILY), that things in life happen for no reason what so ever, and most of all that I feel such a loss in the pit of my stomach I can't make myself stop thinking about him and replaying all of the times we were together and all of the memories that he is in.

I don't know what else to say

Drum roll please

2009-01-21T11:53:00.002-06:00

Last night just before getting Caleb into the bath our home phone rang, there are only two reasons this phone rings #1 - telemarketer (ohhh damn you people, I have a passion for HATING telemarketers) or #2- (the only reason we even have a home phone) my cousin is calling from prison. Sure enough the calls starts out like all of his calls do with a recording stating "this call is from an Arkansas correctional facility,it may be recorded or monitored, you have a collect call from...."

Now let me just say that I am a FAMILY girl to the "t"! I will bend over backwards to help family, love family, listen to family or just be a family (well at least for my family that is, my husbands side of the family, not so much HA) None the less this cousin and I have always been close, we grew up together, went to school together,and got into all kinds of hell becoming the adults we are today. Obviously his hell and my hell were a little different. Case in point, he is in prison, I am not!

You see this cousin of mine had a thing for fires, he is your classic pyromaniac. We all knew, thanks to several incidents from his past, that one day this would land him in some very hot water. He's had run ins in the past with the law and always found a way to get out of it (I'm sure his parents spent some mucho $$ to help him and are wishing their hind sight would have been foresight right about now). None the less in '05 his luck ran out, he was charged and convicted of two counts of arson and sent to prison. I was crushed, heart broken, pissed off, sick with worry, and lost at the thought of this skinny kid being in a place with such hardened criminals, I mean after all he is family. I didn't dispute the fact that he needed to be there, he made his bed so he should have to lay in it, right? But for months I was sick to death at the thought of him living in a prison.

Fast forward to about two weeks ago (then you get to skip all of the bad stuff like the fact that he has a little girl whom he hasn't seen in 4 years, his then wife has now divorced him, the fact that his parents turned their back on their own son, the fact that prison helped him kick his drug addiction you know all of the stuff that NO ONE in their right mind wants to ever have to live thru) so where was I... oh yes two weeks ago thanks to time for good behavior his sentence that was supposed to take him thru 2012 had been knocked back Dec. 2009 so he would hopefully be out by Christmas of this year :) Apparently here in Arkansas (maybe all over the US I'm not sure) there is a thing called a One Year EPA (or something like that) where if you have less than a year left to serve coming into the new year the parole board can make the request for you to be released, due to the overcrowding of the prison system in general and as of last night when he called guess who was one of only 8 people in the state to be released :) He should be home by Valentines Day and I could not be more excited for him.

After getting off the phone with him last night my mind stared to wonder though, how do you ever go about returning to the real world? Seriously, I mean how do you walk thru those gates and start your life over again as a free man? Like for instance, he has no drivers license, no job, no house, no relationship with his only child, no money and nothing to call his own. How do you get used to the fact that no one is there to tell you when to eat, what to eat, where to eat, when to shower, when to get up, go to bed, when that's all you have known for so long?

I am sure life as he knew it before will always be nothing but a memory, and this new life he is about to begin will take a lot of time, effort, blood, sweat and tears to put together but you can bet you sweet asses that I will be there to help him in any way I can, because we are family and blood is thicker than anything else in this world!

How you know

2009-01-19T07:22:00.003-06:00

Your child watches too much TV............

He asks to go to Chucky Cheeses "dot com"

Insists that momma "needs" a snuggie

Cannot live without "Bend-a-roo's"

Gets so excited he can't stand himself over those "Sham Wow" commercials

And last but not least, asks to go to Red Robin's "YUM" (sings it just like the commercial)

I think it's time to turn the TV off!!!

Kiss it goodbye

2009-01-17T08:07:00.002-06:00

Sleeping in is a thing of the past, a love that I've lost, a hole in my heart, and something that I miss more than I can even begin to chronicle (but I'll try anyway cause I love you guys, and would hate to leave you with nothing to read).

Pre kid (yes just one) I L*O*V*E*D to sleep, could do it all day long, any given day. You see some people are crafty, some are smart, some like to be outside all day ever day and then theres me and my talent....... SLEEPING!

While searching for "my thing" I tried various hobbies, hate to exclude something without having first tried it right!! In school there was band! Ha that was a riot! Band was sooo not for me, but let me just tell you I could fake playing the flute with the best of them.

Next came cheerleading (shut up) didn't make the cut, screw you, it was all to cliquey anyway, oh yeah and all those girls were just BITCHES!!

Then came drugs... hardcore, make your parents lay awake nights worrying if their daughter would ever kick the habit (I know your thinking OMG what was it heroin, speed, meth, coke.... nahhh see I come from small town America and in small town America a drug addiction can best be described as "smoking the pot") gave it up cause I am already paranoid enough, add a little weed and good lord you can't stand to be in the same room with me (that is unless you have a video camera and someone staged outside the door to knock and demand to be let in using their best "fake cop voice" making me crap all over myself, my friends were bastards seriously)

I tried like hell to make work "my thing" but when you really don't know what you want to do with your life, that's a tough one

It was really only AFTER giving birth and NEVER sleeping again when I realized that I had had my gift all along!

Seriously, people ask when we will have another one, cause God knows you can't have just one, what kind of people only have one child??? And I won't say that the thought has never crossed my mind, and just about the time that the fleeting thought of another child passes thru whats left of the brain cells in my head that "the pot" didn't destroy I remember how much the first few months of having a child SUCKED for me, and how consequently I've not slept in since!!

All I can say is, when this kid is big enough to wipe his own butt, make his own food, and find his own cartoons on tv.... this momma is planning a nice long hibernation. No phones on, no interruptions cause so help me the person who interrupts me shall be missing appendages, draw the curtains, turn on all 3 fans and sleep like it's going outta style!

One of these days I will revisit a few of the things on this list of "my things" because there are some hilarious stories to be told!! Until then.... uggg can I at least get a nap????

The Parts Guy

2009-01-15T08:17:00.004-06:00

This is how you DON'T make friends with the "cute new Fed-Ex Girl" listen, learn and remember!!

A few weeks back Danny called and said he had a story that would cheer me up (my memory isn't so great now, as to why I was in a bad mood but I'm just guessing it had something to do with my husbands damn snoring) none the less, he said that he had delivered to one of the car lots that I have a daily pick up at, he said while talking to the parts guy about being closed for New Years Day (yeah it's been a while since this happened... so what) this was how the conversation went

Danny: "I'm not sure if the girl who picks up here told you or not, but we will not be running on New Years day but will be the day after"

Parts Guy: "oh, you mean that girl with the short dark hair, tiny little thing, mid 30's she's cute as shit"

Danny: laugh ... no comment

So he calls me to tell me the story and of course couldn't leave out the "mid 30's remark"! So I said "you know if you wanted this to make me feel better, or put me in a better mood you could have left out the mid 30's comment, for crying out loud I'm not even 30 yet" to which Danny replied " Krissi leaving that detail out would be like leaving out the fact that Tiny Tim was a cripple.... you just wouldn't get the same feeling from the story"

Anyhow... the reason that I am telling you about this now is because for the first time since all of this took place I FINALLY had a pick up there on Tuesday (and believe me.. I've been waiting to get back over there, not because the guy is cute... uhhh cause he's SOOO not, but because I planned to totally call him out on the mid 30's thing and see what he had to say for himself) oh and did I mention that a lot of the people on our route don't know that Danny and I are married (we just didn't think it would be "professional" to tell people and man has it made for some damn funny stories).

PG: (has two Ground packages going out, one Express) "oh man I missed our Express guy, don't guess you can take that one for me"

Me: "well I could, but I won't.... you thought I was mid 30's REALLY.... I'm not even 30"

PG: (face ohhhh so red now) "well I just thought you were around my age I didn't mean to insult you" (add horrified look into the mix now) "I can't believe that other Fed-Ex guy would throw me under the bus like that.... what else did he tell you about that conversation"

Me: (huge smile, reveling in his remembrance of the rest of the conversation enjoying every sec. of watching him squirm) "nothing (with devious smile)"

PG: "your holding back something... "

Me: (grabbing all 3 boxes heading for the door) "have a great day"

PG: (now almost sprinting behind me towards the door, starting to spout something but is interrupted by me)

Me: "oh and by the way, not to make you feel bad.... that other Fed-Ex guy you were talking to is my husband" (insert HUGE smile here, laughing out loud even)

PG: (looking mortified) "oh shit... your not serious... oh shit.... oh shit you are serious... that's your husband"

Me: "have a great day sir" as I pull away in my truck laughing my ass off while dialing my husband on his cell!!!

Moral to this story.... I'M NOT EVEN IN MY 30's YET... DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE!!!

Show some love

2009-01-13T01:09:00.002-06:00

Here I sit at 1:15am not sleeping because I've got too much on my mind so what better to do than to blog right? I know I'll hate myself in the morning for not taking that Tylenol PM but for now I'm wired up and ready to go.

I've been laying in bed since about 11ish thinking of things I can blog about but my head and my heart keep leading me back to one thing. We can all read the funny blogs and laugh and comment about them and it comes easy, but what do you do when you come across one that just breaks your heart? One that you cry tears of sadness and utter things like "how much can one person handle" the ones that really make you thankful for even the smallest things in your own life, and make you sorry you whine about things as petty as a stomach bug?

A few months back my mom (who now reads blogs like a crack addict thanks to her dear ol' daughter... yeah your welcome mom, I know your reading this right now) mentioned to me a blog that she had come across called 'My Life as a CFers Wife' I really didn't think much of it at the time, who knows I was probably being ordered to change the channel, make something to eat, get something to drink or wipe something that was running by the 3 year old that really wears the pants in this house. So a few days pass and the more she tells me about this blog the more my heart wrenches for this family. It wasn't until today (well actually yesterday since I am writing this after midnight) that I found this blog myself and let me tell you there are no words to express the emotions I have felt for this family.

So back to the reason I am writing this, Kori is a 28 year old mother of two boys, who's husband Richard is battling not only Cystic Fibrosis but was just diagnosed with Stage 4 recurrent Colon Cancer and as if that is not enough, she just found lumps in her breasts and is "waiting" to hear back from her mammogram to see if they are cancerous.

Now I am not sure about the rest of you, but I cannot even begin to imagine picking one of the things that she deals with on a daily basis and having that burden to carry day in and day out. So I began to think about the support and the love that I would want to be shown if it were me in her shoes, if it were my family that was suffering all of these burdens and well to be honest I simply cannot express the range of emotions I have felt tonight for this family. So I am calling on all of my blog friends, and any lurkers/stalkers that may be out there please visit her page and give her some supporting, loving, nurturing words or encouragement. I am not really all that blog smart yet and cannot for the life of me figure out how to actually place a link to her blog on this post so if you will just look over to the right side of the page in my blog roll and click on 'My life as a CFers Wife' (side note before you go... someone please leave me a comment and tell me how to link to a page in a post! For crying out loud it really can't be that hard... I think I am just well... dense or something)

So go.... go now.... wish her well, think of her family, pray for her family, just leave this girl some comments and show her some love! She's one strong woman is all I can say, I would have folded under all that she has been put thru!

And Kori if you are reading this, I hope this post meets your approval.. if not (since I didn't even bother to run this idea past you before jumping in head first) please let me know and I will remove it at once. Our family will be keeping you all in our thoughts and prayers I promise!

Shall I lie ?? Yes I shall !!

2009-01-12T11:24:00.003-06:00

Last night while mommy and daddy were both out of the room Caleb decided to do one of the things he loves most in the world, yet knows will get him into the most trouble... he ran to the bathroom, got his foot stool, dragged it into the kitchen, lined it perfectly up with where momma keeps her purse, and then snatched my purse from the kitchen counter.

He proceeded to run like mad into the living room put it on the couch and dump out every imaginable treasure that it held. It was about this time that daddy happened to wander back into the living room to find Caleb with is newly claimed bounty. So what does daddy do? Clean up the mess? No! Get on to Caleb for being into mommy's purse? No! Daddy comes to get mommy and tells me "Caleb has something he needs to talk to you about" So in the living room I come, to find my 3 year old son holding whats left of a tampon that was once where it should have been... you know in my purse!

"Momma, what is THIS?"

"It's a tampon son"

"What's it for?"

(uncomfortable pause while trying to come up with the best, most believable lie)

"do girls use it for their hair momma?"

"Yup, that's right son, us girls use them for their hair, how did you get so smart"

I have a bad feeling that one day my kiddo is going to be very traumatized when he realizes that tampons do not in fact go into a girls hair!!

Do not try this at home

2009-01-11T15:09:00.003-06:00

I have lost 4 lbs, Danny has lost over 5 now and Caleb well there is just no telling how much he has lost but I am starting to consider putting the swivel bar back on his car seat cause I know he's not nearly as close to 40 lbs as he was just a week ago when I ripped that damn thing off there.... and to what do we have to thank for this sudden and extreme weight loss????? Rota Virus. So when I looked up the symptoms and definition of Rota Virus sure it mentions the diarrhea, the vomiting and the fever but no where did I find the one fact that every parent/patient should know THIS VIRUS IS STRAIGHT FROM THE PITS OF HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Caleb is now on his 5th day and just when we thought he was outta the woods, he has be contemplating "sicking up" all day, not eating and not wanting anything to drink.

Danny and I both simultaneously came down with it yesterday morning and have been dieing minute by minute every since!

All I can say is the Lindy family is DONE with this damn bug, it can pack it's bags and haul ass somewhere else, you know like back to the pits of hell from which it came!!!

My career of choice

2009-01-09T12:27:00.004-06:00

Growing up I always thought that if there were ever the perfect job for me, being a stay at home mom was it. I will admit there was some "false advertising" involved in this decision.

You see, I was blessed to have grown up in a home with both parents and only one other sibling. My dad always worked and my mom always stayed home with us kids, even after we started school she still stayed at home. As kids when we'd get home from school we always had a snack and ALWAYS had dinner on the table at or right around 5:00 (almost always before 5:30) after dinner it was time for homework, baths, some TV and then off to bed. My mom always handeled her days with grace and made it seem as though it took no effort to pull off a home cooked meal every night (and when I say home cooked, I'm not talking about taking something out of a box... she is a great cook), to help us with our homework every day,to make sure the house was cleaned, the laundry was always done, to make sure things were going right at school and last but not least to tuck us into bed and make sure we were good for the next day.

I always took this for granted ALWAYS and will honestly tell you that there were times where I thought being a stay at home mom was lazy (sorry mom, really I am). I mean she made it look so easy, so what else was I supposed to think??

6 weeks after having Caleb I had to go back to work, I was not ready nor did I see how my new 6 week old baby could possibly be ready to be taken from his momma all day long and put into the hands of anyone else on this earth! I will admit that I put him into the hands of the most loving, most caring, most trustworthy individual out of any of my friends and that made me feel a little safer with my decision. After all, when I had him there was NO WAY Danny and I could have afforded for me to not have a job, so I was resigned to my daily life at a 8 to 5 job where I dreamed of being that "lazy stay at home mom" daily.

So fastforward to June of this past year when I finally decided to bite the bullet and quit work, Danny and I had sat down and nickel and dimed our budget (ha those of you who really know me, know that WE don't budget, but I am seriously thinking of starting to these days) and decided that if we were careful there was no reason that I couldn't stay at home and be a much larger part of Caleb's growing up and quit paying someone else to do it for us.

Yeah, so this is the part where I tell you ALL of you other stay at home mom's who have 1 or 13 children how VERY WRONG and how very skewed my perception of a stay at home mom was! I have eaten more of my words, more of my thoughts and more of my misconceived notions in the past 6 months or so than I care to even begin admit.

I mean come on, did you know that this gig is an ALL DAY event? Did you know that you don't get PAID... as in NO PAYCHECK on Friday? Did you know that even though it is required by OSHA we don't get a lunch break, or two 15 minute breaks a day? Did you know that there is all kinds of harassment involved? Did you know that there always seems to be a butt to wipe, a nose to blow or a boo boo to kiss.. day in and day out?

I'm not quite sure how my mom managed to pull it all off with the two children that God handed her and make it look so easy and so nonchaleant like it came as some sick 2nd nature to her but she did... and all I can say is thanks mom for doing all that you do and for raising us two to be the adults we are today! I can safely say you did NOT have an easy, lazy job! And on a side note, I'm sorry I ever thought that for a minute!

Being a stay at home mom is a very rewarding job, and I am more than happy to be the one to help my child grow and learn while he is still small and still wants his momma to be a part of his life,,,,, but there are days where I question my own sanity!!

Let's just get one thing straight

2009-01-07T21:50:00.002-06:00

This is MY blog! If I offend you, by all means don't read it. If YOU (or anyone you know) reads it and takes something and blows it so far out of proportion to the point that it offends you, then by all means don't visit this blog again you will not hurt my feelings. However DO.NOT. expect me to apologize for my thoughts, my opinions or my rantings! It WILL NOT HAPPEN!! Got it?? GOOD!!

Fighting off sickness and the new sitter

2009-01-07T17:20:00.002-06:00

Oh what a day it has been around our house. I woke this morning to find a text message from Caleb's sitter saying that she had her two smallest children in the ER until 4am with IV's and the works all care of the awful rota virus that has been circulating here in good 'ol NW Arkansas, and that she would be closed for the day. I called Danny to let him know that his favorite and best employee would not be making it to work today! Wooo Hoo a day off, or so I thought!

Caleb was ok this morning, every now and again he would mention his tummy but then go about playing like all was well so I thought nothing of it.

We went and interviewed a new sitter for Caleb (which has NOTHING to do with his sitter being closed for the day today, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that his sitter wants to start charging us $120 a week when Caleb is only there for 20 hrs or less a week). All I can say is that I am 100% sure that we are really going to like her a LOT! And she is less than half of what I am paying now. She is licensed (which current sitter is not) has two employees that work for her and are CPR certified, and one of Caleb's friends goes there so he's already got a play-mate! He will start going to the new sitter on the 19th of January (also Danny's birthday) so we shall see how it goes... I'll be sure to keep you guys up to date!

After going to meet the new sitter and question the fire out of her (man I must really be an over-protective mom, I have LOADS and LOADS of questions when it comes to taking care of my child even if it is only for 4 hrs a day) we came home and both went down for a nap... after about an hour nap, I have what I am sure is one sick little boy :( He has not peeled himself off the couch for more than to go to the potty to try to "sick up" and keeps telling me that he "doesn't feel good AT.ALL".

I am bracing myself for all of the fun vomiting and direaha to follow and for a long night (but praying that he will be miraculously healed without the need for ever once "sicking up").

Will keep you up to date on all the fun happenings here at the Lindy household!!

Guess who???

2009-01-05T10:45:00.003-06:00

Guess who's the luckiest girl in the world today?

Guess who might be feeling just a tad bit sarcastic?

Guess who just talked to her husband and was told that she gets to take the 2nd attempt today at delivering that package to "shit in your pants dogs house"?

Guess who's hoping like hell that her new furry friend remembers her?

Guess who's husband won't be "delivering his package" to his wife ANY.TIME.SOON!?!

God's sense of humor

2009-01-02T23:58:00.004-06:00

So today, while feeling like crap (insert sympathetic ohhhh poooor baby here) I went to work and busted my butt (ok maybe not busted my butt, but still worked pretty hard). For some reason or another I had 3 deliveries to make on top of all of my daily pick ups (see this is the part where I tell my husband that I DO NOT DO DELIVERIES, I do pick ups... this way I ALWAYS know where I'm going and I don't drive aimlessly around looking for houses that I SWEAR are on the map but no where in sight) none the less all 3 of these deliveries were in the big fat middle of NO WHERE!

It was at one of these deliveries that I realized that God himself has one heck of a sense of humor.

I pulled up to this amazingly beautiful mansion of a house, taking note of the fact that no one was home (no cars parked outside), scan the package to be delivered when up on my scanner pops this message saying that it has to be signed for only by the person to whom it is addressed "well crap" I think (usually if it is a home delivery we can just scan it, driver release it and leave it on the porch for the happy people to find when they get home) so I go up to this HUGE house ring the door bell and wait for no one to answer the door.

Its as I am standing at the front door like an idiot, waiting for no one to answer that I hear dogs barking and the longer I listen I realize that they all sound like small barks coming from the garage of this house "shuuuu" (me wiping the sweat off my forehead) then I realize that there is one very distinct, very large sounding bark that I keep hearing and for some reason this one doesn't sound so "in the garage" to me.

(mind you I am very far away from my truck at this point, and while peeing in my pants still standing at the front door of this house, this dogs house, where I shouldn't even be in the first place the thoughts of these nice people who live there pulling into their drive way finding my dismembered body in the jaws of their dog at their front door, with a package they still haven't signed for... just isn't sitting really well with me)

think Krissi... think fast... "Dear God, please don't let it be some big ol German Shepard dog, Please God anything but a big ol German Shepard" my quick prayer went up (mind you I still had not seen this dog as it was around the corner of the garage from me) ever so slowly I begin to gage the distance between the front door of this house and the FAR side of my truck (as any good Fed-Ex driver would do, the passenger side door is locked!!!!! DAMN) and even more slowly I begin to take teeny tiny steps toward the edge of the porch to see what and where this dog was, the whole time hoping to see some maimed, 3 legged, old ass decrepit dog......

As soon as I saw him (or her not really sure which it was) I knew God has one HUGE not so "funny ha ha" sense of humor!

ROTTWEILER!!!! BIG, HEALTHY, SHINY, STALKY, MAMMOTH ROTTWEILER!!!

I think I shit myself right then and there!

"Dear Mr. and Mrs. people with the really nice house,

Sorry to shit on your porch, but in all fairness your Rottweiler (who turned out to be VERY nice, but still looked the part of a psychotic killer) was the cause for the mass exodus of what ever was in my digestive tract at the time. I did leave the door knocker on your front door and no, I don't think your package got any poo on it, I promise to inspect it before we make a 2nd attempt at delivery.

Signed, The Fed-Ex Girl who had to change her pants"

I cannot think of a time when I have ever been so scared in all my life. Turns out that the higher my voice got whilst talking to the "cute, handsome, oh my goodness your such a good dog" big ass Rottweiler the more the nub of a tail began to wag and the closer it got for me to pet it. By the end we were best buddies... and I am sure as hell hoping that it remembers me should I happen to be the one to attempt a 2nd delivery of this package!!

There has to be a better way

2009-01-02T08:34:00.002-06:00

Two out of the three of us here at Casa de Lindy are sicker than sh*t!! There has to be a better way to start out the New Year. Caleb and I are the two sick ones out of the bunch, and the only one who remains un-sick has little or NO sympathy for us... it pretty much blows (and I don't just mean noses).

If I had a "normal" job I would SOOOO be calling in sick today, however since my boss of a husband is a slave driver... I will be going to work EARLY today! The nerve!

Wordless Wednesday

2008-12-31T09:57:00.003-06:00

Since this is the last one of the year I thought I would make it a sweet one. Here is a picture of Caleb and I snuggled up on the couch watching Whorton Hears a Who this past weekend

He almost looks as sweet as a little angel, however he did not want daddy taking his picture!

The things I've learned

2008-12-30T09:38:00.034-06:00

2008, ahh yes yet another year has passed and what a wild ride this year has been. I thought I would take a moment to reflect upon the lessons this past year has taught me, but, where to begin....

1~ I differ in political opinion from a great many people my own age, and I am perfectly OK with this, in fact I like to think of myself as a rebel

2~ (in keeping with the political theme) if you are white and given the choice between one white man and one black man running for the same office in politics, you chose the white man based upon your religious convictions, facts, political preference and the straight up truth that he is MORE qualified you can AND WILL be called a racist!

3~ a Motorola Razr will not survive a plunge into a hot tub, even if that plunge is to save your drowning child

4~ a husband and wife can live together and work together and manage to survive it

5 ~ I am not really cut out to be a SAHM (I need more in my life than these 4 walls) I wish I were different so that I could be satisfied to be here day in and day out, but its just not who I am (I need to let it go and quit feeling like such an awful mother and failure as a parent, I'll let you know when that happens)

6~ God didn't make me with a lot of patients, this is something that I really need to work on

7~ There are so many people out there that have less than I do, I've learned (and am still learning) to be more thankful for what I have and less whiny about what I don't (contrary to my husbands popular belief this has been a hard lesson for me)

8~ The economy can and will fail

9~ Large companies don't need to worry with how or what they spend their money on, because they have us the good ol tax payin US to bail them out of any tight spot they might get into!

10~ All a celebrity has to do to be forgiven for what ever AWFUL decision they have made, or wrong direction they have chosen to take their lives is check into rehab (again and again)

11~ health insurance is a freakin scam!! (won't cover ear infections for a small child... what the hell??)

12~ I am a awful friend, really by the time I say I will or want to go out and do something with friends (like as in the second the words have left my mouth) I am already exhausted by the thought of what all will have to be done in order to get me out of the house... i.e. baby sitter, fight with Caleb about baby sitter, getting dressed, putting on make up, deciding where to go and what to do.... I'd rather stay home (is that wrong?? does anyone else feel this way)

13~ I need more ME time, seriously no matter how hard it is to come by, I need to have some time each week (if not each day) just set aside for me.. is this willingly given up when you have children?? I didn't see that in the contract I signed

14~ I am not crafty.... and in fact I will take this just a step farther.... I am almost disgusted by those who are!! (I loath scrap booking, some of my sister in laws would have me whacked just for saying those 3 words)

15~ MTV isn't what it used to be (not that I don't still watch it, cause I sooo do)

16~ I love to blog, I like to know that people out there that don't even know me personally read about my life and comment on it... it can be said that blogging is now my crack (not like ass crack but like speed, coke, heroin my drug of choice that is as long as it never replaces caffeine... ohhh we got problems if it starts trying to take that spot on my list of favorite things BIG problems)

17~ I really need to stop this list, cause I can go on and on (however in my little bloggy mind when I started I thought, 20 is a good number, wonder how many people won't make reading this list all the way to 20.... we shall see)

18~ I love laptops! We bought a new laptop for the business (as a tax write off, umm to keep the books for the business I mean) and just when I had decided that I HATED it, a wonderful,shameless love blossomed... I'm addicted to this dang thing!!!

19~ I have lost all respect that I once held for Oprah Winfrey (she may have more money than God, but she needs to check herself before she wreck herself!) I have more respect for Barack Obama himself throughout this past election than I do for Oprah and that's not saying much!!

20~ (and this is a big one) Being a parent is no where near the walk in the park I thought it would be, this past year has taught me this for sure. I would like to think that I am a pretty good parent, yeah and Manson would also like to think he's just a teeny bit crazy! Seriously though raising a 3 year old has been THE hardest job this past year... someone please tell me that it gets easier, cause if not, I have my doubts that I will make it as a parent. And he deserves so much better than me some days!

So what are some things you learned in 2008 cause I am sure that I've left a LOT out... if you should happen to do a post of things you've learned link it back to me and leave me a comment so that I can take a look :)

Cheers...

Here's to hoping that 2009 is an amazing surprise for us all!!

Note to self

2008-12-30T08:21:00.004-06:00

When husband asks as 10:00pm, "wanna watch a good movie" do not deviate from your plans of going to soak in a nice hot bath with a good book to believe his LIES!!

At 12:20ish (but whos counting) we were laying on the couch all cuddled up together both collectively rubbing out foreheads trying to figure out how in the hell we managed to watch an entire movie with the "it's gotta get better" mentality!!

** Small side note.... do not rent, buy, netflix, borrow or steal the movie Momento IT BLOWS! (and you are really pissy when you are forced to wake up at 7:00am after noting falling asleep until after 2:30ish, especially since hubby was asleep before his head hit his pillow)

Bring on nap time!!

I swore I'd never

2008-12-23T09:33:00.003-06:00

Thanks to a certain little 3 year old boy in our house and his new love of the word "Damn" someone got their mouth washed out with a bar of soap!!

Saturday evening Caleb kept saying Damn! Momma had a heart to heart talk with him about the fact that Damn is a bad word and he should not say it, that little boys who use bad words get their mouths washed out with soap (purely a bluff on my part) then this sweet, loving, wonderful little boy climbed right up on the couch next to me looked right up at me and with all the balls he could muster whispered "DAMN, guess now I get my mouth washed out with soap"

** Small side note, he now knows not to BITE down on the bar, it was all stuck in his teeth for what seemed like hours to him. I only let him revel in all his soapy glory for about 10 minutes (just long enough to make sure he got the point) and then helped him brush his teeth and get a drink to rinse his mouth out!!

** Another small side note.... DO NOT CALL MOMMAS BLUFF IN THIS HOUSE!!!! She will always WIN!!

"Oh the Places you will Go"

2008-12-22T23:58:00.002-06:00

How many of you have read that Dr. Seuss book? It's one of what seems like the hundreds of books my son owns, that are scattered about our house. Tonight for some odd reason my insomnia has kicked in and when I laid down to go to sleep instead of drifting off into a nice peaceful slumber this book popped into my head... go figure. And that got me to thinking about how thankful I am to be where I am in my life, which came from me thinking about the places I've been in my life. Not so much geographically speaking but more careerically speaking (not sure if that is even a word but just roll with me... this is my blog after all). So tonight my Internet friends we are going to take a stroll back down memory lane thru all of the careers I've had before becoming what now seems to be a part time mommy and part time Fed-Ex hottie :) (again my blog my terms, take it or leave it:) This list is pretty long so settle in and get comfy, it's going to take a while to get to the end.

First job I ever had I think I was a Sophomore in high school.....

#1 - Chiquitas Mexican Restaurant -
I must say that as far as first jobs go, this was a GREAT one to have.. I still to this day eat there ANY and EVERY time I am in Mena and a word to the wise, if you are ever passing thru Po-Dunk Nowhere and find yourself smack dab in the middle of Mena, AR take a drive thru the old Wal-Mart parking lot and stop in at Chiquitas and say hello to Martin and all of his teenage workers for me... They make good grub!!

#2 - Rick's Prime Time Movie Rentals .... I honestly don't know anyone back home in good 'ol Mena that didn't work there. I swear if you are from Mena you worked for Rick and George Davis either renting movies or repo'ing the movie equipment that they had on a "rent to own" basis in their store. I'm almost positive that to be a citizen of the city it's somewhere in black and white that you HAVE to work for the Davis boys at one time or another to be able to maintain citizenship in Polk county!

#3 - United Country Four Seasons Real Estate (HIGHLY urge you NOT to work here) this was my very first experience with a boss that was shall we say "not so pleasant" and I am sorry to say it will not be the last boss that I feel this way about... SL was one of the trickiest to work for in a sense that every day was like walking on egg shells you never knew what to expect. This is where I decided at the ripe ol age of 18 or 19 that my career should I chose to accept it should be none other than real estate... to damn bad I couldn't pass the licensing test! This was one job I was glad to leave!

#4 - Family Fun Pools and Spas - not much to say about this except that my bosses were nice there (it was owned by a family that had about as many kids as the Duggar's do) I tested people's pool and spa water and told them what chemicals they needed to add in or take out! Not exactly career material.

#5 - Kid's First Daycare - this place was a blast, made me sure that I one day wanted kids of my own (as if I needed convincing) but also made me sure that I didn't want to take care of other peoples kids for a living

#6 - Goodner Aircraft - (damn are you starting to see that I was having a really hard time nailing down a profession yet????) This company painted air planes for crying out loud.... I was the receptionist and our customers that came from all around the world were charmed by my hick .. I mean Southern accent!

#7 - OK Food's - I dispatched chicken feed trucks for crying out loud.... what can be said about this other than I met some REALLY shady characters in this line of work, in this stage in my life

#8 - Paris Jr. College - this is one of my most favorite jobs and if it hadn't been in TX I might still to this day be working there. But damn I was just not cut out to be a TX girl and all those LongHorn Lovin Fans kept messing with all my Razorback shit... this girl had to move back across the Red River into familiar territory!

#9 - Offensive Line Coach Secretary - University of Arkansas Fayetteville Men's Athletic Department - damn that is a mouth full! I was serious when I said I was tired of all those LongHorn fans! DAMN IT every time I think about this job I get sooo pissed off. Long story short I had this job for all of about 2 months before things took an ugly turn and I was fired! Yes you read that right, maybe one day I will blog about why exactly I was let go, shit canned, or dissolved of my employment but not today. Today I will say that I worked for and met Houston Nutt (when he was still popular) I saw every Arkansas Razorback football player come in and out for practice and I LOVED every minute of this job... all except for one of the secretary's which just happened to be Houston's personal secretary! She my friends was nothing short of a bitch!!

#10 - Jaeger + Haines Commercial Underwriting Dept. - my very first job in the wonderful world of insurance (little did I know that this would be the beginning of a love hate relationship with what has become, and will one day become again my career) I hand typed, as in a typewriter ... commercial or business insurance policies... it sucked!!

#11 - Rogers Insurance Agency - this is where I became licensed in insurance and that is about the best thing I can say about this place. Other than that WOW what a freakin joke this establishment was!!

#12 - Village Insurance, Inc. - this is where I have been for the past 5 years :) My home away from home, the place I love and at the same time the place I hate!! The women I worked with here (and have promised to return to work with, once Caleb starts school) are more like a family to me than some of my own flesh and blood. This was the job where I grew up and began to take responsibilities as just that, something I was honestly responsible for. In turn (and I don't say this to make myself sound conceited) I made this business a LOT of money and they LOVE me!! Ha

#13 - Caleb's mom - on a good day I'm all about loving this job, on a bad day well... I want a paycheck, a raise and a vacation! This has been my life long dream job, it was something I always knew I wanted, scratch that, I needed to do. And while most days are great we have our fare share of days where I'd rather be anywhere else in the world but stuck in this house with my own 3 year old (what I can't be alone in this feeling, I'm sure most of you have at least thought it before, maybe you just aren't as honest about it as I am)

which leads to the final job as of my now 28 years

#14 - Fed-Ex Ground driver - the best and worst thing about this job is that I get to sleep with my boss! Ha (for those of you who don't know the back story, my husband is my boss, I'm not a company whore although that might make for a more exciting job ha ha) I really wasn't sure when I took this job on if I would A) like it or B) be able to stand the fact that Danny and I worked together, lived together and seemed to be inseprable in every aspect of our lives but as it turns out I think I like this job... I'll let you know once I've decided for sure (i.e. when I get my bonus)!

So what about you if you could name two jobs, your best, most favorite job and your worst most hated job what would they be? Seriously you don't have to list them all out like I did (damn it I've had a LOT of jobs haven't I??? Is that odd??? Cause I'm really feeling like a bit of a lush on the whole job scene tonight!!!)

Don't leave me hangin!!

Ready or not

2008-12-22T08:47:00.003-06:00

Christmas is in 3 days and I would have to categorize myself in the "not so ready" category!! Not that we don't have most and almost all of our presents bought at this point because we do. But this year I cannot for the life of me seem to find my "Christmas Spirit". I've tried and tried and I just think this year it's not coming.

We took Caleb down to the square on Saturday night to look at the lights and while a good time was had by all, still nothing. We(read I) put up the Christmas tree and decorated it, yet nothing what so ever came about. I wrapped all of his presents and got them under the tree, nada. We have even been forced to sing Christmas carols (or at least the ones that Caleb now knows)and as you guessed it... not one single twinge of spirit dumped into this momma.

I H*A*T*E shopping this time of year!

I H*A*T*E driving anywhere around anyone this time of year!

I H*A*T*E crafting (there you heard it here first, I am NOT a crafty person and people who are well... they just piss me off)!

I H*A*T*E baking, sure some nice peel and stick cookies every now and again are nice, but as far as really baking... FORGET it this momma doesn't bake!

I've even talked the family into going to eat Mexican on Christmas Eve because I just don't have it in me to cook a traditional Christmas dinner and all the fixins!!

Is it just me, or is Christmas spirit just so hard to come by this year??????

Some things are lacking

2008-12-18T09:28:00.002-06:00

Since I have started work there are a few things around this house that are lacking to say the least. So I thought I would start a list to share with you all

#1 ~ DINNER!! Hello, I seem to remember having home cooked meals every night (and never mind that I was the one who had to cook them) when I didn't work. I'm talking meatloaf, beef tips and gravy, stuffed peppers, spaghetti, you get the idea right? Last night when I got home I ate (in this order) one microwaved beef and bean burrito, a bowl of cereal and then about an hour later a lettuce and celery salad floating in some Ranch dressing! I'm missing dinner!

#2 ~ Cleaning!! Yes my house is a wreck, and yes it will continue to be until I have at least half of my energy back (i.e. when I am NO LONGER WORKING) every night before Danny got home from work Caleb and I would pick up toys that had been dragged out during the day and tidy up so that Daddy could come home to a half way decent semi-clean house... not so much these days.

#3 ~ Checking the mail!! Shit I cannot even begin to tell you the last time I checked the mail... umm yeah that's right AT&T, CenturyTel, City of Bentonville Utilities, Mtg Company... I gotta job, don't have time to check my mail and umm that's why my bills are late (what it's legit and honest, and that's what there gettin)!

#4 ~ Dinner .... oh wait I've already said that one... but I'm still pissed about it

#5 ~ Laundry ~ ok so this has never been something that I liked to do, so naturally now that I have yet another excuse to put it off I'm on it like stink on doo doo! However as a small side note I will say that now that Danny and I both have these ubber sexy uniforms and that's pretty much what our wardrobe consists of all week long I don't have as many clothes to sort before doing laundry, and ohh this is my favorite thing.. I am able to wash a whole load of clothes (our uniforms) in the Gain that I love soooo much, but had to stop using because of Caleb's eczema!!

So yeah there are a few things around Casa De Lindy that are lacking or just forgotten in general and just a word to the wise..... don't expect that to change until my employment status returns to SAHM!!! Although the dinner thing, well that ones about to be a deal breaker. I'm starving by the time I get home, not to mention usually pretty cranky too and so help me I had better have something that sort of resembles a meal ready for me (seeing as how hubby and our boy have been home usually for an hour or sometimes even two by the time I get off work)!!

Just a bit much

2008-12-16T10:44:00.002-06:00

Yesterday we hit a whopping 20 degrees, factor in a wind chill and we sat on or about 6 effin degrees ALL.FREAKIN.DAY!!! So here is my rant to good ol mother nature

Dearest Ice Queen,

First let me start by saying thanks for the freezing rain, the sleet and the ice and please note that this sentence was written with just a dab of sarcasm!! 6 degrees is a great name for a TV show, NOT such a great thing when my skinny butt's gotta get out and work in it mmm kay!

Lets get one thing straight, I do not enjoy cold and I certainly do not enjoy one degree below freezing my ass, my face and my little boobies right smack dab off my body!! If I have to hear one more person say "honey you should have some gloves on" I swear on everything that is WARM I cannot be held accountable when I reply by asking if they would like me to preform their next physical right then and there in the back of my Fed-Ex truck... man or woman!!

I do not enjoy shaking so hard from the cold that every muscle in my entire body hurts the next day, I mean come on have you not read my blog before??? I have a new job, one that is more than good at making me HURT everywhere.... I really don't need any additional reasons to want to OD on pain killers. I had 4 shirts and 3 pairs of pants on plus 2 pairs of socks I looked like Ralphy from that movie "A Christmas Story" and still managed to no more than get the door to the truck open before I started to shake uncontrollably.... it's just a bit excessive to be this damn cold.

Also while I'm at it, I thought I might mention the fact that I do not like to drive on ice... strike that... I do not like to slide on ice while attempting to drive. It's really just a little scary when I am driving, shall we say, a big ass truck at a very LOW rate of speed and even still cannot seem to make it stop where I want it to. Yesterday I can count on one hand how many times that heap of shit stopped where it needed to, however I cannot count the number of times where I almost needed another set of 3 pairs of pants that were CLEAN because it didn't!!

So if you could, oh I don't know, maybe warm it up just a hair out there, take the ice, sleet and snow and send that crap up north WHERE IT BELONGS for the winter and leave us with just a mild sorta chilly winter that would be peachy just freakin peachy!! Kaapeesch!

Chattering teeth and all,

Krissi

Too smart for his own good

2008-12-15T09:20:00.004-06:00

This morning as I was oh so peacefully sleeping I hear the rattle of Kitty's cage (which Caleb knows he is NOT supposed to touch) so I lay in bed for a few more minutes and listen just to make sure that what I was hearing was really what I thought it was, sure enough as I get up and grab my robe in my "super stealth mommy mode" and peak around the corner into the living room there sits Caleb with a bag of Cheesy Doritos's hiding at the end of our large couch in the living room (he knows Doritos's are not acceptable breakfast food, and also knows that he has gotten into them without asking which is also a mortal SIN in our home, but what he obviously doesn't know is that I can see him sitting right outside my bedroom door, not really sure where he thought he was hiding or where he thought I was at but the hiding didn't work for him). He finally sees me and with all of the sweetness he can muster says "morning momma, did you have a good sleep"!!!

Looking around the house I spy all kinds of things that aren't where they are supposed to be, so I thought I would just ask him what other mischief he had been up to that seemed so time consuming he some how didn't find the time to wake mommy up.

Me: "what else did you get into"
Caleb: "well I brushed my teeth, but I had to take my socks off cause I got tooth paste on them"
Me: "are you supposed to brush your teeth without asking mommy or daddy"
Caleb: "mommy, daddy is at work and you were sleeping .... so I asked kitty"

Some days I swear!!

Caged Kitty

2008-12-12T10:19:00.002-06:00

She decided that her first act as a caged kitty would be to make me a mess to clean up...

This is what one "not so happy" camper looks like

*** I have the feeling this is going to be a really long 6 weeks, she has not stopped crying since we got her in the car to bring her home.... I may not make it thru this ***

Kitty Down!!!

2008-12-11T21:23:00.002-06:00

So last night when I got home from work something struck me as odd... I only had one follower every where I went, I was missing a part of the dynamic duo. The fat, hairy, brown one. Kitty wasn't up to making the rounds you know into the kitchen to see what I would eat, out into the garage for a moments peace from Caleb while I smoke and not even into the bathroom where it's like a party that needs no invitation EVERYONE follows me into what used to be somewhat of a sanctuary. I thought about it for a fleeting moment and then put it out of my head just chalking it up to a lazy day for her (which I will admit is odd).

So last thing before I went to bed I was back out in the garage for one last cigarette (yeah so sue me, and NO I don't want your lectures) when out the kitty door comes my hairy child with what I can only describe as the worlds worst limp. She went over to her food bowl to eat and that is when I really got concerned, she couldn't stand on her hind legs or rather her left hind leg. I went over to try to inspect as if in my part time I'm a vet or as if I knew what I was looking for and when she wouldn't let me near it so I decided that first thing this morning we would take her to the vet.

Caleb, Kitty and I loaded up and off to the vet we went, Kitty was less than thrilled a) she was in her cat carrier b) she was in a moving vehicle c) did I mention she was in her cat carrier. However Caleb did a great job of answering her every cry on the way there with "It's ok Kitty, your so a good girl" and then really quiet he would say "I love you too Kitty" (as if her cries were those of professing her undying love for him). We managed to get her to the vet who was nice enough to take her to the back to check her out (even though I had tried to prepare Caleb for the noises (read screams of pain) Kitty would make when she was examined.

Turns out our poor Kitty ripped her ligaments in her left hind leg, and how, well that is still a mystery, the vet said it was probably injured during a jump up onto something but none the less to avoid having to do surgery we are now having to cage rest her for 6 weeks. Aside from the ligaments she has arthritis in both hips the left being the worst and we are to try to discourage ANY jumping after her 6 weeks are up and she is hopefully back to normal. Yeah so I'm pretty sure that will be IMPOSSIBLE this is my cat here, the bobtail, bat outta hell, jumping, running, hauling ass around my house 9 year old Kitty (not to mention I have a 3 year old who loves nothing more than to see her jump and run when he rounds the corner). The vet said that we should build her "stairs" to climb up to get onto our bed, because that is where she sleeps at night right at the foot of MY side of the bed I'm thinking Danny is NOT going to go for this.... we will cross that bridge when we get there.

Oh did I mention that Kitty did not come home with us tonight?? They kept her over night because of the sedation they had to give her to be able to take the X-rays today, Caleb was beside himself that she was not coming home with us... we are still dealing with that, he misses her something terrible.

I went today and bought the cage for her at Tractor Supply (where the vet recommended I go) it's 30 X 30 X 18 and it's just sad, She will not be happy with her new living arrangements what so ever, but the vet says we can bring her home on and give her something called Kitty Prozac every day for the entire 6 weeks to take the edge off of her having to live in a cage (wonder if they can give me that script too??)

I will post pictures tomorrow when we have gotten her home and into her new deluxe accommodations. Till then we are Kittyless........

Wordless Wednesday

2008-12-10T08:08:00.003-06:00

The whole family watching a movie Saturday night.............

"Tis the Season"

2008-12-09T09:38:00.002-06:00

While most of you are all "Fa la la la la" I'm all "Bahh Humm Bugg" and with good reason. Last night I picked up 350ish packages. The back of my truck was "blown out" by the end of the night I was more exhausted than a puppy who'd chased his tail all day and felt just about as accomplished as that puppy does when he just doesn't catch it. So here are a few things I would like to pass along to you all as you prepare to ship packages to Aunt Freeda, Uncle Jim Bob and little cousin Sally Whogivesacrap........

1) Please, please, please for the love of Pete DO.NOT.WRAP. your boxes and think that by the time they get to where ever it is they are going said wrapping paper will still be all pretty and festive. News Flash... wrapping paper is slippery and if I can't pick up that package in a hurry I swear on everything that is warm and fuzzy I will demolish your perfect wrapping job out of spite

2) If your contemplating not paying an extra $1.50 for the packing peanuts at your local shipping store, let me just give you a heads up... if you want little Sally Whogivesacrap to get the dolly all in one pretty little piece like it was when you bought it I'd advise that you pay the extra buck or two. TRUST me you need it,that is unless you want to see little Sally cry when her baby-poops-a-lot is in 500 pieces in spite of the fact that the directions specifically say "no assembly required"

3) When you call said "local shipping store" and ask when the final pick up for the day is and they tell you 6pm believe them and do not show up at 5:59pm with that family heirloom not packaged, not labeled, and not READY to be shipped and expect your warm and fuzzy Fed-Ex girl/guy to wear a smile while patiently waiting for you to get your ass in gear, WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR IT (side note if your wonderful, warm and fuzzy Fed-Ex person should happen to take pity upon you and wait, FREAKIN THANK THEM seriously....... some people's kids)

4) For the love of God don't ship heavy crap (118 lbs is just a bit excessive, it makes me have to say 4 letter words that I am really trying to refrain from saying and my poor, poor husband who just happens to call to "see how it's going" while I am trying to figure out how the hell I am going to get this box from HELL into my truck really regrets making that call) And just in case you are wondering it was at the same place where tomorrow they will find that "non-helper" ladies car under a dump truck load of coal!! (possibly with her in it)

5) If there is a nagging voice in the back of your head when you are trying to decide if you really want to ship that package, your thinking "is there a possibility it could be broken by the time it arrives at its destination" let me make it simple for you read #4 above and imagine your tiny little precious whatchamacallit sitting directly beneath that box! Enough said!

6) Be nice to your Fed-Ex Express, your Fed-Ex Ground, your Fed-Ex Home Delivery and your UPS people for crying out loud!!

118

2008-12-08T20:50:00.002-06:00

This will be a short post... the title is the entire post (for the most part) you have to guess what that number stands for in relevance to my day at work today.... good luck and if you are the one who guesses it right... well I will try to think of something special to do for you, like your laundry or your dishes or take out your garbage! So best of luck guessing (oh and it is not the number of times I used the "F-Word" today we'll just clear that up right here and now!!)

Prayer Request

2008-12-08T12:53:00.002-06:00

I am not sure how many people read this blog, and of those who do how many of you are the "praying type" but if you are a pray-er I am asking that you please say an extra prayer for a dear lifelong friend of mine. Her name is Ronda and her daughter's name is Tay. Ronda is going thru a really rough time in her life right now and needs a leg up from God to get her thru. Please just ask God to place his healing, guiding hands upon her and help her to reach the top of the mountain from the valley that she is now so deep in. I think we have all gone thru enough tough times in our lives to know that it's always good to have people that we may not even know pulling for us and right now I know she could use all of the extra love and support that we can all give. If you would like to leave her a special prayer or comment please feel free to do so on this blog, as I know she is a faithful reader and would appreciate any kind words offered on her behalf. She and Tay will be in my prayers daily until God works his blessings and gets her back on a level playing field.

I'm much too young to feel this damn old

2008-12-08T09:34:00.002-06:00

Sorry to disappoint but this post will not be a tribute to Garth Brooks (no matter what I chose to title it). Instead this will be a rant about how I am 28 years old and this morning feel like I am about 85!

With the start of my new part time job (which is more physical than any full time job I've ever had) I have aches and pains in places I never knew existed in the last 28 years. I'm all for getting into better shape, hell I even begged and pleaded with my husband for a year to buy me one of those Ab Loungers because I just knew I would use it daily and end up with Abs of Steel (a word to the wise.... learn from my mistake people... I do NOT use this thing and it now is just an addition to things in my bedroom that A) do not match and B) do not get used (like my husband when he makes fun of me for not using the Ab Lounger ha ha take that honey)

So none the less I thought this job would be a great way to get out of the house for a few hours a day, before I freakin lose my mind and also to get into better shape... so far .... not so good!

I have however learned a few things about myself thru this strange journey the first and foremost is that I am a person who expects a "quick turn around" i.e. I take the job and expect to be in the best shape of my life in no less than one week,give or take a day or two, I mean seriously a week should be plenty of time right? WRONG I bust my ass for a few hours a day, enough that I hurt from top to bottom the day after and nothing, not one larger muscle, not one smaller pants size I've got nadda!! Well SHIT!

Secondly this job is really starting to feed my ego! Laugh if you will but I have two stories to tell here and you will just have to suffer thru them both (I say as I am stroking my ego),both of these happened last week. First my husband called me last week and told me that he had just made a delivery to a place along his route that I had helped him deliver to the week before and was asked (and I quote) "hey man, what did you do with that hot girl you had helping you" (now this story would be much better if my husband hadn't replied "oh you mean my wife, yeah she's ok to look at but certifiably crazy, which SOOO makes up for it you should try living with her, seriously she's nutz" JACKASS) now on to the 2nd story I was backing up to the dock at one of my pick ups and noticed one of my good friends that works there slowly walking up to the passenger side of my truck (knowing Mike as well as I do, I figured he was going to wait until I wasn't looking and slap the box of my truck to try to scare the shit of out me and make me think I had hit something) but alas he didn't, turns out he was taking a smoke break with a bunch of guys he works with and when they saw me pull into the parking lot the following comment was made "wonder if that's the hot Fed-Ex girl" (Mike then took it upon himself to try to make a quick buck off of this and said "I bet ya $5 that if it is the hot girl I can get her to hug me before she leaves" all the while knowing that they had no idea that we knew each other) I helped him win the $5 just because he told me the story and made me feel a little better about myself on what had started out being a bad day!!

Now for the Third and final lesson I have learned from this job, there are two kinds of people in this world "Helpers" and "Non-Helpers". Non-Helpers SUCK ASS!!! As you might have guessed there is a story to go along with this lesson in the way of the world so, without further ado here ya go.
Most of the stops on my route are places where I can back up to a dock which generally makes things a lot easier on me, I get out throw open the back door of the truck grab and scan what needs to be shipped shut the back door and take off. However, there are a few places that ship out some heavy shit, we are talking 60 lbs or 65 lbs boxes (just for a little added wow factor Danny has told me before that he has had some at this specific pick up that have been 90-95 lbs) none the less say you have 20 boxes and about 12 of them weigh 60 to 65 lbs and you yourself only weigh about 105 on a good day... yeah you see where I'm going with this don't ya... It's all I can do by about that 5th box to get these damn things into the back of my truck, dock or no dock! This is where I get totally fascinated!

Last week I wrestled about 11 boxes into my turck all of them weighing over 50 lbs and I know for a fact that I did NOT do this gracefully, hell it took all I had in me just to get them in there much less in any order so that I can still manage to navigate thru my truck at the remainder of my stops. So fast forward to the next day, I get there to do my pick up and there is a 18 wheeler parked in my spot (Divine intervention, I think so) so I call Danny and tell him I've got no where to park so he agrees to do the pick up for me later and I go on about my merry way. I get home that night and ask him how that pick up went, if they had a lot of boxes, were they heavier than shit (you know all the important questions) he then tells me that one of the ladies that works there came over while he was getting all of the packages and started telling him "that little girl you guys hired sure was having a hard time yesterday, I just watched and watched her struggle with our shipment yesterday, man was she having a hard time with it all". I freakin lost it at this point, Danny agreed with me too I might add, I said 4 letter words that I'm almost sure I've never said before (Caleb was in bed hopefully not listening) none the less I was pissed!! Not only was she watching me but more than likely sitting on her ass laughing at me and the thought of that alone makes me see red! WTF???

So I leave you with one question... are you a "Helper" or a "Non-Helper"??

P.S. Santa hates NON-HELPERS! Yeah that's right, that bitch is getting coal this year, hell she'll be lucky if I don't dump a whole Fed-Ex truck load on her car at work!!!

Caleb's "Blue House"

2008-12-03T12:35:00.003-06:00

My sweet son, is just too much sometimes. About 6 months ago (give or take a year can't really remember when all of this came about so sue me) on our way into town Caleb spotted a shed, or shop or man cave what ever you wish to call it, anyway it was this strange blue color which matched the house that it sat behind (some people have terrible taste when it comes to paint, I mean really don't you find that to be true??) None the less he declared that it was his "blue house".

So since he thought up this blue house of his everything that he is not allowed to have at home or just doesn't get the second he asks for it to is automatically at his blue house for instance a motorcycle, a skate board, a whale or a tiger, a shot gun, a spiderman bicycle, green glowing slurppy crap, every soda ever possible they are all things one might find at his blue house.

Every time the subject of his blue house comes up, just to see what he will say I always ask if I can go to his blue house to which the answer is ALWAYS a resounding No and when asked why it is always the same answer as well "because you are not big enough momma" which I think is particularly funny because hello... I've got 25 years of bigger on him but none the less momma is not allowed at the blue house. Daddy on the other hand is allowed because as you may have guessed he apparently is big enough and is a boy which I am told make him more than qualified to go to the blue house as only boys are allowed and not girls.

So yesterday as I am driving Caleb to the sitters totally out of no where Caleb pipes up from the back seat and says "hey momma, I've got a girlfriend at my blue house" (now I am not sure where he has even heard talk of a "girlfriend" or if he means a girl that is his friend (cause HELLO girls are not allowed at the blue house) or if he means a true girlfriend you know the kissey face kind) but either way I almost ran off the road all the same.

The thought that my kid, my 3 year old kid, is hiding girls from me already is mearly enough to almost break my poor heart and I'm sure she's probably some hussy who will never be good enough for my son!! LMAO

Ode to the cat

2008-12-03T11:16:00.003-06:00

Lets get one thing straight, I am a cat person or at least thought I was before owning one. Our cat "Kitty" (how original, yeah I'll take all the credit for that one) has been a part of our family for almost 9 years now. She's almost as fat as she is tall, which makes her somewhat round and she just thought she didn't like children, that is until we had one 3 years ago.

She and Caleb have what seems to be (to the untrained eye) a love/hate relationship. Caleb is the love, in that he wants everything to do with her no matter what time of day or night it may be, no matter if she is sleeping or awake, and no matter if she is feeling the love that day or not. Kitty is most certainly the hate side of the relationship, she hates everything to do with Caleb, wants NOTHING more than to plot his untimely demise every chance she can get and is positive that one day this ultimate plan of hers that she's been hatching over the last 3 years will play out just as she has it set in her mind.

So like any sibling since she can't stand Caleb she has taken to trying her hardest to get him into trouble. Now I don't have a lot to go on, since only one of them can verbalize their thoughts and feelings but I am most certain that I have this one all figured out.

The last two weeks or so we have had a hellofa time getting Caleb to go to sleep at night. We do our normal bedtime routine which consists of bath, prayers, singing our songs and rocking and then into the bedroom for a drink of "super water" (yeah I've got this kid down to a science) kisses and squeezes from both mom and dad and even some kisses for brown bear and then it's lights out and off to sleep, or at least that is how it used to work! Now there are no less than 4 trips to the bathroom (always 2 trips to pee pee and 2 trips to poo poo) and hey I'm not complaining at least he's getting it down to where most mornings he's waking up dry and I'm all for that. But even after his trips to the potty we are catching him out of his bed in the hallway more and more and most times he's sneaky but now it's just gotten to where he is down right brazen and bold about it.

Last night on my way into see what exactly he thought he was doing out of his bed much less out of his room it occurred to me that the cat has taken to laying in the hallway and taunting him.... yeah that's right you heard me.... she lays there on her back in the middle of the hallway with her yellow belly just itching for him to come and pet her, scratch her belly and tell her what a good girl she is. This is EVIL and must be stopped!!!

So when I talked to Caleb about why he was out of bed and out in the hallway (mind you I did not mention the cat what so ever) he says

"But momma, Kitty is lonely"

"Caleb she's a cat, she thrives I mean she likes being lonely"

"she came to lay outside my room so I would pet her,love her, and tell her what a good girl she is" "She is a good girl, isn't she momma?"

and when I wanted to say, "yes she's a good girl who's fixing to find her furry ass locked out in the cold, awful, dank and damp garage" I simply settled for a thoughtless threat instead

"son if you get back out of bed again I will be sending your daddy to spank you, now GO TO SLEEP"

(I know I could never really lock her out of the house, I just have too much heart for this fat cat of ours even if she has gotten more creative in finding ways to take out our other child ... do you think I am in denial about the fact that she might really be a threat I mean she does still have ALL of her claws??)

None the less... here she is in all of her glory (note that her claws are out and she "seems" to be asleep, I'm just betting that she's dreaming of yet another plot to fix that little shit that's always bugging her)

Wooo Hooo

2008-12-02T12:01:00.001-06:00

Just so you know, I just hit a milestone! While I am sure it is not much of a milestone to any one other than me... the last post I put up was my 50th!! I'm happy about it, you should be too!!!!

An oldie, but a goodie

2008-12-02T11:44:00.003-06:00

Some of you here know once upon a time I was a teeny weeny bit obsessed with Myspace for a while, now that is not all that bad only because that is where I learned (as if I know all there is to know) to blog. So today for those of you who have not had a chance to see the more emotional and heartfelt side of me here ya go... this doesn't happen often so enjoy it. The following is a blog from my Myspace in August of this year.
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"10 years have passed..........so what now"

So this one is going to come straight out of left field, and may wander thru the last oh... 20 years of my life. Try to keep up, and if you get lost along the way just keep reading on and I am sure you will find yourself right smack dab in the middle of my simple mind!

First and foremost I will mention no names in this blog (those of you who know me well enough will know exactly who and what I am referring to). With that said lets begin!

I have spent the better part of almost 10 years now dealing with the loss of a best friend (no, no one died, we just parted ways on a sour note) and not just any best friend she was my childhood best friend, the kind of friend that you are supposed to have for life, the one who you can trust with your deepest, darkest, most humiliating secrets, the kind of friend who knows you and still loves you for the person that you are.

Now this friend and I quite literally had gone thru hell and back during the course of our friendship and I don't say that lightly I MEAN it. When you think about your middle school and high school years and all of the changing that not only you but everyone around you is doing that in and of itself can make life DRAMA filled and stressful but I mean over and above all of that drama we went thru some pretty hairy shit and always managed to take one shit-filled situation at a time... we always made it thru and we were always still best friends.

About 10 years ago, after a very (well SHIT how do I even describe in real words the parting of our ways) ok skip trying to describe that and on with the point I am trying to make.... so 10 years ago we became NOT FRIENDS very abruptly, very matter of factly, very hurtfully.... and I have still to this day ummm well have not gotten over it. Now when I say not gotten over it, it's not like I sit around for days on end or hours at a time and cry over it, nor do I tend to talk about it I just haven't taught my heart not to care about it, I guess is a good way to put it.

But in the last few months when said person pops into my mind, whether it be her birthday or just any other random day of the year I have started to figure it all out and have managed to convince my heart that it's ok to let go.

There have been many times over the last 10 years that we have "tried" to reconnect, this friend and I. And part of me honestly thought that if I just tried hard enough to care about what was going on in her life and sent enough random "hey how's your day" emails, showed her that I still remembered birthdays and anniversaries that things might some day be back to the way that they were when we were inseparable, turns out that didn't work and now I know why.

We grow up, we get on with our lives, we change from that snot nosed shitty teen that we once were and damn-it before we know it we are our own person and proud of that person that we have become with NO said help from that other person who used to be our "best friend". And it's ok, we are still breathing and functioning and living our lives from one day to the next. We are married and parents and proud of all of our accomplishments no matter how big or how small. We are filled with the love of the new friends we have made and we are ok with letting the past be just that.... the past. We harbor no hard feelings, because life is too short! We live for ourselves, for our families, and for our loved ones and I have decided that my life is exactly the way it was supposed to turn out and I am a happier, healthier more rounded person for it.

So to sum it all up for you, I have let go and quit wondering "what if, why, and just maybe" I wish her the best that life has to offer and want her to know all of the events that we have been thru in our lives as "best friends" are cherished memories (which I will carry with me forever, because they played a great part in the person that I have become), but I still have a lot more cherished memories that don't involve her from the past 10 years of my life and a lot more to make that won't involve her either and that's ok in my book.

You live and you learn!!!

Who doesn't love pictures??

2008-11-30T22:46:00.007-06:00

And who doesn't love pictures that they themselves are not included in!! Count me in! I am searching for something even remotely funny to write about, and coming up with J*A*C*K!! So I thought I would just put up a few pictures I've taken in the last few days. Some obviously from Thanksgiving and then a few from today. For those of you who don't know... today was our first snow of the winter (and while it was not a lot of snow, my Caleb could have cared less). Hope you all enjoy the new pictures.

I am sure this week will hold plenty of "funny" seeing as how tomorrow I will not only be doing pick-ups but will also be doing a few deliveries (this was NEVER part of the deal) and as if that isn't enough... I even have to load my own truck in order to do said deliveries! So like I said... loads of funny to follow thru the week!

Caleb helping me make my cornbread for my Thanksgiving feast

Caleb was really excited to see Daddy when he get back home from the Cowboys game the day after thanksgiving! He was even more excited when he learned that he had a "present" that daddy picked up just for him at the game..... he was more than PISSED to see that the "present" was a fitted Cowboys hat!! He kept saying "this isn't my present... where is my present"! Ahhh warms the heart doesn't it

So I have to say these next two pictures are just priceless and I will make sure to put them in order so you can all appreciate them as much as I did

Daddy made Caleb a snow ball...

and this is how he thanked him (thank God there wasn't anything within arms reach to throw when he got his new hat)

Is it any wonder I love this kid soooo much??? He's such a cute little toot!!

Jesus & Bumblebee's

2008-11-28T16:35:00.003-06:00

Caleb is sitting on the living room floor singing every song he can think of, why you ask, to annoy me I'm quite sure. It was cute the first few minutes, but this has now been going on for about 15 minutes and it's quickly starting to get old. I'm trying to watch the Hog's make a comeback against LSU on tv when I hear these lyrics

"Jesus loves the little children, because they are picking up the baby bumblebee's won't Jesus be so proud of me, OUCH he stung me" (and I'm not sure if Caleb thinks that Jesus or the bee stung him ha ha)

Had to laugh and had to share. Hope you all have a great weekend!

Insert witty title here

2008-11-27T09:09:00.002-06:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! My turkey is in the oven, my cornbread is made and waiting for me to make my dressing, I baked a pumpkin pie last night now all that is left is to cut up and cook the veggies for my dressing, throw together the green bean casserole, cut up and cook the potatoes for my mashed potatoes and get my gravy made :) Dinner is at 5:00 and we have 3 guests coming my brother, sister in law and my niece. Should I set out more plates? Anyone else wanna come? Maybe you should read the rest of this post before you make your reservation (don't worry I'll invite you again at the end of the post I promise).

Reflecting on thanksgivings past this morning I can't help but laugh at the memory of the first time I made thanksgiving dinner for Danny and I (pre-Caleb). I like to think that I am quite the cook (my husband will probably dispute that comment) but this is my blog and what I say goes mkay!!

So yeah I almost killed us with food poisoning! Who would have guessed it??? I had slaved away in our tiny kitchen all morning long while Danny sat on his butt and watched football (why is this the tradition and who do I have to kill to change it???) My turkey was beautiful and I had even managed to get it to brown in the oven, the dressing was done, the potatoes were mashed and not a moment too soon I was starving!!

We fixed our plates and everything looked great it was picture perfect as far as Thanksgiving feasts go and it tasted good too, what more could we ask for?? If you said another bathroom then "tell 'em what they've won Bob" (the dump that we rented back in the day, you know the one over in Crack Central, only had one bathroom). Needless to say the rest of the afternoon was spent beating a path in the indoor/outdoor carpet to the one bathroom in that house! It was AWFUL! I swore off cooking and eating poultry and Danny just swore off eating anything that I cooked! Jackass!! Like I meant to give us food poisoning? And don't you think if it would have been intentional I would have bypassed the under-cooked bird? Some peoples husbands!

None the less today I am a master chef, I've got bird cooking down to a science!

So how many extra places should I set at the table this year? Come on any volunteers? I swear to eat the turkey, you can watch, hell I'll even eat an hour before you just so you will know it's done!

In all sincerity I hope you all have a wonderful, happy and full Thanksgiving with your families today and remember we all have so much to the thankful for, so remember to thank the one who has given us all that we have and all that we are.

Flying solo

2008-11-26T07:36:00.003-06:00

Is way overrated. Yesterday was my first day to drive and do pick ups all by myself. It was NOT supposed to be, Danny was supposed to park his truck and ride with me in order to help me back into places and get my barrings. Now I know what you are thinking, "didn't you say you went to school to learn to do all of this on your own", and the answer to that question is YES. However, school was a month ago and here I sit one month later having not forgotten everything I learned but simply chosen to have filed it away in the "for future reference" category of my brain!

So like I was saying Danny was supposed to have ridden with me, but due to some complications with the 9 + million packages he had to deliver yesterday I was ... well.... as I like to say shit out of luck.

So I was equipped with my scanner, my truck and my muscles (insert very loud laugh here) oh yeah and my cell phone (and I used that thing like it was going outta style).

All in all I did a pretty good job whilst out and about. I picked up 113 packages and only about 4 of them weighed more than I did.

At the end of the day, Danny had finally caught up and offered to pick up my last 3 stops for me and I was exhausted/elated all at the same time. Now all I had to do was take the truck back to the terminal, park it, turn in my paper work and head to the house. This is where I ran into what we will call a "small" problem.

It was on the way back to the terminal it occurred to me that I didn't know where to park the truck, as in which slot the size of a VW Beetle inside the terminal this particular vehicle belonged in. Now I could just say the parking spot for this truck is small, but that just wouldn't do it justice, its just that when you back one of these trucks in you have enough room to clear mirrors with the truck beside you and that is it. I'm pretty sure not even a pile of gnat shit would drop between the mirror of your truck and the truck next to you even if said gnat really had some pretty good force behind his bowel movement!! It's that close people!!!

Check my super duper, I really want to rock this and consider myself a bad ass, brass balls at the door, I called Danny almost in tears (knowing good and well that on Wednesday, as in the day before Thanksgiving this week I would have no other choice but to do this myself seeing as how Danny will be outta town) the conversation went as follows

"Hey babe, the truck was outside the terminal when I came to get it today, where the hell am I supposed to park it"

"I think it's the 2nd of 3rd spot from the end, on the belt side"

"the end that I drive in on, or the end at the other end of the terminal"

"ha you wish it was the end that you drive in on, that would be too easy, it's the end on the other side of the terminal"

(mind you I am sitting at the door that I am supposed to drive in, looking long ways down thru the terminal sweating profusely and all of a sudden feeling the need to throw up immediately)

"ummm yeah, about that, there is NO WAY IN HELL I can park this truck Danny, I'm the last truck in, everyone else has already parked and I'm thinking there is no way in hell I can pull this truck in get it straightened out and actually park it without causing some major property damage to the trucks in front of me and on either side of me. I CANNOT do this"

"well it's ok, don't panic, all you have to do"

"I'm not asking you Danny, I'm telling you, when you get here this damn truck will be parked outside with the keys in it and you will have to park it"

"Ok, no problem, but you know"

"yes I know I will have to do it tomorrow, and God help me everyone of those loaders in there will be rolling on the floor laughing their asses off at me, well that is until I back over one of them"

So I didn't get the truck parked, and turns out that one of our good friends that works for Fed-Ex was there and he parked it for me, and I got to watch while he did it.

Still no way in hell I think I can do it, and that thought in and of itself haunted me all night last night and will continue to haunt me all day today but I will not mention it to Danny. I will do it because I HAVE TO DO IT! So wish me luck and if you hear a loud "thud" around oh say 7ish tonight please say extra prayers cause I'm going to be dead if I hit something!!

Sure hope my hubby enjoys his time at the Cowboy's game tomorrow!

In keeping with tradition

2008-11-24T08:57:00.007-06:00

We all have so much to be thankful for. And it seems that this time of year is really the only time we are appreciative enough to reflect on all of the things we have to be thankful for. So in keeping with tradition I have decided to post a list of the things that I am thankful for (some of which may very well be a teeny tiny bit sarcastic) so without further ado here is my list enjoy!

I am thankful for the fact that the American people elected a man with NO experience what so ever to become our next president. I mean who wouldn't want a man with the motivational speaking skills that rival those of Hitler (and the socialist ideas that much compare to his too) I am also thankful for the fact that since I am a white female and I proudly proclaim that I did not vote for Barack Obama I am automatically labeled a racist that's just peachy and sits oh so well with me.

I am thankful for the recession that this country is in, this is perhaps every news reporters dream... slow news day, well crap we can always talk about how the world is full of doom and gloom and the downward spiral that has become the United States. And just for good measure we'll throw in talk about the "useless, needless war" that we are fighting (never mind the fact that September 11th really did occur and that those bastards took the lives of countless numbers of innocent Americans here on our soil) and if they really wanted the trifecta of all things taboo they could talk a little about George Bush's approval rating these days! Oh the glorious news media how I love the!!

I am thankful for the very uber liberal news media here in the United States. If not for this past election I might have continued to live out the rest of my life thinking that the news channels like ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN actually wanted us to know what was really going on in the world and that they didn't have their own agenda in what they chose to report on and when. I think its just the greatest thing since sliced bread that people like Katie Couric still have an effing job!! After all what would us Americans do without our daily dose of Kool-Aide fed to us directly from the media? How would we even get out of bed in the morning and form our own opinions on life if not for these glorious news commentaries.

I am thankful for all of the government "bail outs"! I mean who in their life hasn't need a leg up (read HAND OUT) every now and again? The fact that the government has come to the rescue of so many tanking business who've gotten themselves into a bit of a pickle is just "kick you in the crotch, spit in your face fantastic"! Why with all of this new found wealth (read our hard earned tax dollars)to spread around I think there should be NO reason what so ever for another business, no matter how large or how small, to ever fail again. I just hope they all send me a postcard from their company retreats that cost more than I will make in a lifetime, I mean come on we all deserve a little R & R right? I can just imagine how stressed they must be, what with a failing business and all!

(Note to self, this last one may really hit a nerve, Krissi you should stop while your ahead.... nahh hell I'll just go ahead and take the flack)

**WARNING** This is my blog, it is based on MY opinions and MY thoughts, if you don't like said opinions and thoughts then by all means DON'T READ IT.

With that said I will make this next thing my final thing to be thankful for...

I am thankful that this country knows how to take a stand for things that are "right". I am so thankful that we can make picket signs, and stand on street corners, or hell march right down the middle of the street and DEMAND Gay rights in every major city from New York to Los Angeles! Nothing makes me more proud than to see two lesbians, or two gay men demand that they be able to marry, be able to adopt or foster children, and demand that they have equal status in this country! Far be it from me to judge their sins, far be it from me to stand up for my right to NOT have this SHIT thrown in my face or poke down the throat of my child in a country that was founded on Christian principals. And much like the situation with the president, if I take a stand and proudly proclaim that I vote against these "equal rights for Gays" I am automatically labeled a bigot!

So let me ask what are you most thankful for this year?

Lovingly signed the Racist Bigot!

Quiet

2008-11-23T16:58:00.002-06:00

It's Sunday, it is almost 5:00 and both Danny and Caleb are napping. We went and watched Bolt today in 3D and loved it. Caleb did so well with keeping his glasses on and sitting thru the whole movie, Danny and I were plesantly surprised. Afterwards we went and ate a late lunch and then came home.

It took nothing short of a miracle to get Caleb to actually go down for his nap (this often happens when we wait too long and he gets overly tired) and I was almost at my wits end before he finally fell to sleep.

I thought while I had a few quite moments I would catch up on some much needed blog reading, to not only just have some "Me" time but also to try to calm myself from all of the fuss in getting Caleb down. While I was reading blogs randomly I came across karalaney.wordpress.com and found a video on there that words simply cannot even begin to describe, I will post it below so that you all can watch it. I sat in my garage all by myself and cried a multitude of tears in thankfulness that my son is a happy, healthy, wonderful little boy and prayed that I will never have to know the 99 days that this family knows all too well.

Hug and kiss your babies and be thankful to God this Thanksgiving that they are who they are

I'd like to thank that academy

2008-11-22T07:48:00.004-06:00

Yeah that's right... I got an award!! I'm still on cloud 9!! I cannot believe it, after 40 + posts an award all my own! See

I have to thank trying2staycalm.blogspot.com for bestowing upon me my very first award! I love your blog, for those of us like me who are new to this it's nice to have some love.

Now on to some news, I hurt... not like oh no I have a boo-boo but like as in the body that I woke up in this morning is not mine, but that of an 80 year old woman with sever arthritis!! And why do I hurt so bad you ask? (and if you have to ask you have obviously been living under a rock and not following my blog like a good worshiper SHAME ON YOU)

On our last stop of what was an AWFUL Friday, this tag team duo (me and hubby)went to Fed-Ex Kinko's to pick up all of the stuff that was dropped off there and call it a night.

Have I mentioned that with Fed-Ex there is the unwritten (or heck maybe it's written I've never looked) rule that any given driver is supposed to be able to pick up, up to 50 lbs. (with no help, anything over 50 lbs and who ever is shipping it is supposed to have to help, that is to say if there are present when we go to pick it up HA) Easy you say.... yeah well not when 50 lbs is exactly half of your body weight. (Shut up, I'm skinny and I don't give a rats ass what you say, this time of the year it is a direct disadvantage for me... I FREEZE my ass ALL of the time)

We've always known that 50 lbs was a stretch for me but I had yet to be tested (and unbeknownced to me Danny was having doubts.... the nerve) So we get there last night and have the truck almost totally loaded when low and behold my strength is put to the test.

Let me just say that I rocked the shit out of that 60 lbs box with the dolly all the way out to the truck, but that was only half the battle! Danny was waiting at the truck and watched in amazement as I split a vein in my forehead, pulled some inner "I'm one bad bitch" attitude and was able to lift that box right into the back of the truck no questions asked!!

Yeah that's right I did it, what do you have to say about it???

I did it and now this morning I'm paying for it! I hurt in places I didn't even know were connected to muscle!!! I think I may have broken my cooter bone, my back was for sure stripped of any muscle, tendon and/or ligament that was ever once connected to it, my right arm may have been rendered useless for the rest of my days here on earth and my shins well they are a story for a whole nother time (Think I will breath ONE word of how bad I hurt to my husband ..... NOT ON YOUR LIFE) Yeah I'll teach him to doubt me, in my silent shrieks of pain and slow death all weekend long!!

I've got nothing

2008-11-21T11:25:00.002-06:00

It's Friday!!! Woo Hoo

I've really got nothing witty or funny to say today, can you believe it??? It's been a long week, which I am sure now that I have a job will be followed by a very short weekend and then Monday will be creeping around the corner before I can even blink. And to that I say... baaaa hum buggg!

On a semi-funny, mostly just stupid side note, Danny called me this morning as Caleb and I were sitting in Village Inn about to eat breakfast (I figured since I have worked so hard all week, that we deserved to go out to breakfast this morning.... one of those executive decisions) to tell me a joke he had just heard that went a little something like this

A proctologist walks into a store to get a few things, get up to the register to pay for his purchases and pulls out his check book. As he reaches for his pen he pulls out a rectal thermometer and says "Great some A-Hole stole my pen"!!

That's all I've got today folks...

I want Santa to....

2008-11-20T08:07:00.004-06:00

So last night, got home late as usual (see post about new job w/ Fed-Ex to explain why I was late) and knew that Danny would be hot on my heels coming thru the door.... what to fix for dinner. No worries I already had a plan, however this plan did not include the rantings of our 3 year old as he screamed at me "momma I want something descent to eat" (yes he really is a sweet boy, and he does always include the word descent when asking for something to eat, God love him, cause some days I'd like to ship him off)

As I looked around the kitchen I tried to find things to keep him busy so I could get dinner ready, which consisted of fried ham, mac & cheese (from a box), and french fries (oh so gourmet I know) when I spied the mail, and what was in the mail but the Wal-Mart "Kid's Holiday Book" BINGO!!! I gave it to Caleb and told him that he needed to start getting ideas of what he wanted Santa to bring him this year for Christmas. Let me just say DAMN I'm one smart momma right??? Yeah I would like to believe that too,(feel free to keep shaking your head up and down in agreement, it makes me feel better about myself) but chances are the being smart part was a bit of a stretch. While it did work to keep him out of my kitchen and out from under my feet while I cooked last night, this DAMN book just will not die.

Right off the bat this morning, we're talking not even 8am yet and he's got his hands on this damn book and all I hear is "I want this" or "momma is this for girls" (this boy of ours seems to be drawn to PINK, Danny is horrified and always says "pink is for girls NOT boys") and "can Santa bring me these 999 things here on this page"!!

My mind is racing and it's got only ONE thought... WHY THE HELL DID I NOT BURN THIS BOOK WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING???

Just so you know.. the score is

Wal-Mart - 1
Momma - 0 (but oh the plans I have for this evil place, don't care if they are my neighbors here in good ol' NW Arkansas or not)

oh and just another FYI.... I think I just might be getting the hang of this whole Fed-Ex gig after all..... (by a show of hands who of you believed that last one???) Cause if you did all I can say is Baaaaaa freakin Haaaaaa!!!

Almost wordless Wednesday

2008-11-19T08:12:00.002-06:00

My very best friend the last few days... one corn pillow! This little pillow is filled with deer corn, you simply place it in the microwave for 1 minute and enjoy the warmpth on your aching muscles :) Its a little slice of heaven on one really out of shape body. Thank God for corn pillows!!

One Ground Momma

2008-11-18T10:45:00.003-06:00

Yeah so I'm a stud!!! (As if this has to be said... I mean it's already a well known fact right??)

Yesterday was my first day on the 'ol Fed-Ex Ground job... and I am hopelessly lost, I'm not kidding ya'll this just is, well, its for Rock Stars ONLY!

So ya know when you get a package from the Fed-Ex guy that little scanner thing that you have to sign, the one that your never sure which was to flip it and the one that makes your signature look like that of a serial killer... yeah... that one. Did ya know it costs $3,000.00??? Holy Shit and did you know that it takes a person with the skills matching that of a rocket scientist to know how to work it? Can you see where I am going with this? I am terrified of this small, hand held, piece of gold nugget. All of the buttons, the sounds, the scanner bars, the bar codes oh yeah and the packages not to mention that all of this is done at the speed of light!!!

First stop of the day (this was repeated MANY times, and while I won't be doing all that many deliveries I still have to know HOW to do them in case I'm needed) I'll just number these steps for ya so that you won't get lost

uhhhh hummm

1) know where you are going.. as in which of the 9000 stops you are about to deliver to and or pick up from

2) Park big ass truck (this sounds easy enough, I mean hell I went thru the driving school right.... ummm yeah I parked in a parking lot with NO people and no personal vehicles to potentially damage... and while I wasn't even driving yesterday and probably won't be driving at all this week still it was overwhelming to see it done and to think that this will be me in a week or so)

3) Get package/packages to be delivered

4) Tell scanner which stop you are at make sure things such as shipper #'s and zip codes and all that other yadda yadda yadda fun shit are right or else God knows your scanner will hiss, spit and jump right out of your perfectly capable hands and bitch slap you (it's true and no I don't want to tell you how I know)

5) Scan package (this too sounds easy enough right... umm yeah EFFIN WRONG.... have you ever looked at a package you've gotten from Fed-Ex and seen how many different bar codes are on ONE freakin package seriously are they just itching to make my job HARDER??) so this step should say scan the CORRECT bar code

6) Close bulk head door (the door between the cab of the truck and the box of the truck) cause we don't want people looting the Fed-Ex fairy now do we? (this too would be much easier if said door did not outweigh me)

7) RUN................... did ya get that................ here let me tell you again........... EFFIN RUN up to business/ house (any way you look at it running and me.. well not a pretty sight, remind me to tell you about the one time I thought about taking running up as a healthy hobby.... umm did I mention I'm a smoker HELLO)

8) Get signature (back to the beginning I mentioned that most people don't know how to sign for a package on these scanner things they ALLLLLWAYS think you have handed them the scanner the wrong way, seriously do you think the Fed-Ex guy does this to watch you make an ass of yourself, NO you making an ass of yourself is wasting his precious time so just sign the damn box at the bottom) (also on another side note I learned NEVER to had the person the package first, cause it's just awkward and even more time consuming while they try to find a place to put the package while you are trying to get them to sign for it....)

9) Ask persons last name, because believe you me, your signature is NOT legible (also small side note here.. don't bother to spell your last name out loud WE are not going to type it in exactly how it should be spelled, hell your lucky if we don't assign you a totally new and much SHORTER last name by the time this is all said and done)

10) Type persons first initial and last name into the scanner so that you can close out the stop (yeah about the closing out of a stop thing... big eye opener for me here if you forget to close out a stop while you are actually at the stop and say remember when you are just about to deliver the next package (cause there is ALWAYS another package to be delivered/picked up) Fed-Ex sees that one was closed out and one opened within 1 minute of each other and they DING you, meaning that you don't make as much as you should... bunch of shit right? I thought so too

11) RUN.......................... yeah run your non-athletic, wheezing, panting ass back to the truck

12) JUMP............ yeah this too sounds easy but hello I'm lucky if I'm 5'3 these days and jumping up isn't one thing I've ever been all that good at, so this is not an easy task to complete 999 times!

So you think you want to be the Fed-Ex guy/gal? Did I mention you have an average of something like 1 minute 30 sec or less (actually now that I think of it, I'm sure it was less) at each stop to do all 12 of the above named steps???

Yeah.... I've got my work cut out for me. And all of this because I got into a pissing contest with my husband and his other Fed-Ex buddy (when, oh when will I learn to keep my mouth shut???)

Today's the day

2008-11-17T11:45:00.002-06:00

I start my new job today :) Woo Hoo Is it crazy that I am actually excited about this? (A few hours out of the house EVERY day Mon. thru Fri. with no kid, no hubby (after this week) and all the radio I can listen too not to mention all the cigarettes I can smoke while driving (which I have given up since Caleb was born) ... humm no I just can't see why I would even entertain the thought of being excited) The weather is beautiful, a little windy but not so cold that when I walk out the front door I don't think I am going to DIE that is always a plus!

Caleb even gave me the most wonderful gift of sleeping in this morning (well sort of)! Last night he managed to sneak into our bed again and when I finally realized why Danny was all over me (in my mind it was because he was thinking about how sexy I am in my new uniform... HA) was because Caleb was hogging his side of the bed, I finally got up and took Caleb back to his room, laid down with him in his bed for a few minutes until I was sure he would stay there and then got up and went back into my room. Bulldozed Danny back over to his side of the bed and crawled back in myself to await the blissful sleep that was shortly to come. One BIG problem with this.... 2 minutes later there was Caleb standing by my side of the bed asking to "cuddle with momma" which was sweet and all but met with a resounding "NO go get back in your bed"......

So after getting him put back to bed in his own bed I awoke this morning at 9:30 and just about threw myself into cardiac arrest thinking that Caleb had to have been up and God only knew what he was into, or what was so great that he didn't wake me up... I catapulted myself out of bed and flew into the living room sure that I would find it in total disarray only to find that Caleb was still in his bed sleeping :) Woo Hoo

None the less I start work today, have had a great morning and am ready to have a great afternoon driving all around NW Arkansas with my hubby in our fine Fed-Ex ride!

Did I mention that I get to sleep with my boss, HA I am the shit!!

The sky is falling

2008-11-15T22:45:00.003-06:00

Is it just me or does anyone else out there feel this way, with all that is going on in the world today???

Being the "nice mom"

2008-11-13T13:56:00.002-06:00

So the other night I had put Caleb to bed after our bedtime routine, bath, rocking, saying prayers, singing all 4 of our songs, drink of "super water" (which he has no clue is just regular ol run of the mill tap water) and then tucked into bed with kisses from momma and daddy. Ahh all is well with the world and now it's MY time.

Caleb didn't get that memo! So after the usual "momma I gotta go poo poo" up and to the potty (which I would complain about but hey, he actually goes and its in the potty and not in his pants... I'm good with that) then came the "momma I gotta go pee pee" not that he couldn't have done that while sitting down to poop but by this time it was just WHATEVER!! Back to bed all tucked in with his brown bear and beepy and off to La La Land! WRONG again!

This is where I would normally yell at him and threaten bodily harm if he does not get quiet, get still and GO TO SLEEP, but on this night I thought ok, I'll play the good mom and see how well this works for once...

I go into his room and he is laying in his bed (which was a good sign, I figured with all the noise that was coming out of there, he had to be trying to swing from his ceiling fan and stick a 10.0 landing for the judges) but as soon as he sees me he sticks both hands and what ever it was he was playing with under the covers. Still I lean down give him a kiss on the forehead and say "give me what you are playing with, it is time to go to sleep and not time to play" (mission accomplished nice mom I thought as I patted myself on the back with one hand and held the other out to collect the toy I knew he had under those covers). Caleb just gets this blank look on his face and then reaches over and drops something into my hand, smiles and says "here ya go momma, if you really want my boogie it's all yours"!!!

DAMN that nice mom! Fits of hysterical laughter ensued, I mean so hard that I thought I might just pee my pants and to make matters even worse I just couldn't wait till I had left his room to start laughing no... I just had to bust out right there bent over beside his bed, so then he was laughing too!! And it was one of those oh so hard belly laughs that just make moms laugh anyway!

I love my life, and that little heathen is the best thing God ever gave Danny and I (even though on any given day I'd tell ya differently)!

Random Wordless Wednesday

2008-11-12T10:11:00.001-06:00

Another late night

2008-11-11T10:02:00.002-06:00

Am I the only mother in the world who lays awake at night hoping, whishing, praying for sleep? I mean seriously I am thinking I need drugs here!

Lets run thru last night.

11:00 in bed with good book, hubby beside me in bed with good book reading, relaxing and welcoming the yawns that follow. 11:45 put good books down, turn on fans (yes that is plural there are now 3 fans in our room and I would lose my damn mind if one, just one of them went missing. The latest addition to these bedtime lullaby machines is not only a fan but also a humidifier and I am in love, oh so much love with it) none the less fans on, lights off and it's off to La La Land right?? If you said right... let me just go ahead and tell you what an idiot you are because you were SOOO NOT RIGHT. 12:00 still awake, roll over try to get comfortable and ahh 12:45 yup let me check the clock oh yeah still awake.

This went on until shortly after 2:00 and the reason I know what time it was is because at 2:00 I am laying there pissed off that I am not asleep, and even more pissed off that I have had to roll my husbands snoring, lifless body over no less than about 10 times because as you guessed it he was alseep by 11:46. So where was I, oh yes 2:00 all of a sudden Danny rolls over like he has just been hit with a pile of flying bricks coming through the side of the house and where I was once staring at his back, I am now staring at his ARMPIT! Momma's not happy, not sleeping and she will be damned if she is going to lay awake with her nose in daddy's armpit until she falls asleep (not that I don't dig Oldspice deodorant, but come on) so I jab him in the ribs and tell him to roll the f*ck, I mean sweetly ask him to roll over without ever opening my eyes, I have perfected this after years of sleeping with this man. Only he doesn't roll over! The nerve of him he doesn't roll over again when this same method is used again in an ever more convincing manor. THAT'S IT! I open my eyes and with all the might I could muster (which I don't know if you have ever read anything about adrenaline and how it can cause people to be able to do freak things like lift cars but lets just say it was on my side last night when needed) I shoved the shit out of him only to be scolded by this tiny little voice coming from his other armpit.... "Momma quit hitting Daddy, I'm trying to sleep over here"

WTF???? How did you get there, even more importantly what the hell are you doing in OUR bed when you have a perfectly fine bed in your own room!!!!!

So of course I am the one to get up and carry him back into his room, lay down with him and try to get him to go back to sleep. Just when I think he's finally out I try to sneak out of his bed and he says "momma Plankton is in my head and he keeps making me get out of bed" now it's official my kid watches too much Sponge Bob! Finally at around 3:00 I come back to bed and try once again to go to sleep... although the thought of calling Sissy and seeing if she had any string cheese she'd be willing to share, or if Asher had already eaten it all did cross my mind.

Last time I looked at the clock it was 4:06 and can you guess who was bright eyed and bushy tailed standing in my bedroom at 7:15!!

Moral to the story... ahh hell I'm too tired for morals today momma needs a nap!!

Marvelous Misadventures of one SAHM

And that is why I'm never blogging again

God has a new Angel

So it's been a while

Totally R-O-T-T-E-N

I'm knocking on the door

A List of possible reasons for my lack of posting

It's Not Wednesday but....

Tossed in the mix, and thrown outta bar's

Welcome to the first ever edition of ....

It's here, It's here, Finally it's here

Wordless Wednesday

Adoring Fans

Isn't it funny

To be, or not to be

Words cannot describe

It's not nice to lie...

There's always one in the crowd

Waiter... There's some Dumbass in my Democracy

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Inquiring Minds want to know...

Wordless Wednesday

Questions

Bon Voyage

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Wordless Wednesday

Our weekend away

Finally Friday

Monday (aka Tinkerbell ass kickin)

What a way to start the day

Cold Saturday

My 8's

I did a bad, bad thing

Going the Distance

Move over Maybelline

Wordless Wednesday

Weekend

A Tale of Two Marriages (aka my 100th post)

Almost 100

"F" you Friday

All's well that ends well

**Update** #1

Prayers Please

Fascinating and Factual

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Rest in Peace

A January to remember

"Let there be ICE"

Ice, Ice Baby!!

No rest for the weary

Too young

Drum roll please

How you know

Kiss it goodbye

The Parts Guy

Show some love

Shall I lie ?? Yes I shall !!

Do not try this at home

My career of choice

Let's just get one thing straight

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God's sense of humor

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Wordless Wednesday

The things I've learned

Note to self

I swore I'd never

"Oh the Places you will Go"

Ready or not

Some things are lacking

Just a bit much

Too smart for his own good

Caged Kitty

Kitty Down!!!

Wordless Wednesday

"Tis the Season"

118

Prayer Request

Update #1