Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Another late night

Am I the only mother in the world who lays awake at night hoping, whishing, praying for sleep? I mean seriously I am thinking I need drugs here!

Lets run thru last night.

11:00 in bed with good book, hubby beside me in bed with good book reading, relaxing and welcoming the yawns that follow. 11:45 put good books down, turn on fans (yes that is plural there are now 3 fans in our room and I would lose my damn mind if one, just one of them went missing. The latest addition to these bedtime lullaby machines is not only a fan but also a humidifier and I am in love, oh so much love with it) none the less fans on, lights off and it's off to La La Land right?? If you said right... let me just go ahead and tell you what an idiot you are because you were SOOO NOT RIGHT. 12:00 still awake, roll over try to get comfortable and ahh 12:45 yup let me check the clock oh yeah still awake.

This went on until shortly after 2:00 and the reason I know what time it was is because at 2:00 I am laying there pissed off that I am not asleep, and even more pissed off that I have had to roll my husbands snoring, lifless body over no less than about 10 times because as you guessed it he was alseep by 11:46. So where was I, oh yes 2:00 all of a sudden Danny rolls over like he has just been hit with a pile of flying bricks coming through the side of the house and where I was once staring at his back, I am now staring at his ARMPIT! Momma's not happy, not sleeping and she will be damned if she is going to lay awake with her nose in daddy's armpit until she falls asleep (not that I don't dig Oldspice deodorant, but come on) so I jab him in the ribs and tell him to roll the f*ck, I mean sweetly ask him to roll over without ever opening my eyes, I have perfected this after years of sleeping with this man. Only he doesn't roll over! The nerve of him he doesn't roll over again when this same method is used again in an ever more convincing manor. THAT'S IT! I open my eyes and with all the might I could muster (which I don't know if you have ever read anything about adrenaline and how it can cause people to be able to do freak things like lift cars but lets just say it was on my side last night when needed) I shoved the shit out of him only to be scolded by this tiny little voice coming from his other armpit.... "Momma quit hitting Daddy, I'm trying to sleep over here"

WTF???? How did you get there, even more importantly what the hell are you doing in OUR bed when you have a perfectly fine bed in your own room!!!!!

So of course I am the one to get up and carry him back into his room, lay down with him and try to get him to go back to sleep. Just when I think he's finally out I try to sneak out of his bed and he says "momma Plankton is in my head and he keeps making me get out of bed" now it's official my kid watches too much Sponge Bob! Finally at around 3:00 I come back to bed and try once again to go to sleep... although the thought of calling Sissy and seeing if she had any string cheese she'd be willing to share, or if Asher had already eaten it all did cross my mind.

Last time I looked at the clock it was 4:06 and can you guess who was bright eyed and bushy tailed standing in my bedroom at 7:15!!

Moral to the story... ahh hell I'm too tired for morals today momma needs a nap!!

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh we had our string cheese time last night. yes, lets start texting in the middle of the night. I need some more blog material :)

November 11, 2008 at 11:07 AM  
Blogger Paul Eilers said...

Well, how about falling asleep and then being awakened five times a night because your little one needs his bottle or diaper changed?

Whew.

By the way, your new blog header looks great!

I wish I could get something like that done for our son's site, BradyEilers.com.

November 11, 2008 at 2:02 PM  
Blogger ~aj~ said...

Oh honey, been there done that. I'd never had one second of insomnia until I became a mother. It's a good thing the darn kids are so cute or else it wouldn't be worth it.

I found it hilarious that Caleb was in bed and you didn't even know. Too funny!

November 11, 2008 at 8:34 PM  
Blogger Tiffany Tolman said...

Oh I'm so sorry that happened to you. I assume this happens to you more often than not? Yikes. How is mom supposed to be the balanced voice of nurture when your brain is grumpy from never getting the chance to recharge??!! HELLO BRAIN!! My kids are 4 and 6, and I find myself struck by insomnia every so often. I try to remind myself of what I tell my kids - If I really needed rest I'd be asleep. It is a lie, but sometimes we have to fool ourselves to keep our sanity, right? Just keep on keeping on. I love your blog even when you are 1/2 asleep.

November 11, 2008 at 10:30 PM  

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