Thursday, August 13, 2009

And that is why I'm never blogging again

So the last post seems to be a really hard one to follow up, every time I start to think of something to write I log into blogger and wham there she is looking at me, turns out nothing can top where I know she is right now at this very moment and oh the joy she has to be feeling. Can you even imagine?

I mean, for crying out loud last weekend we went to Tunica, MS and watched Counting Crows live on stage and I can't even find it in me to blog about it!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

God has a new Angel

The good Lord does answer prayers, he called her home today, and while my heart aches with sadness I wouldn't wish her back to this earth for anything. She is at rest, she is at peace, she is reunited with her husband of 70 years and 2 of her sons that passed on before her.

Enjoy those new wings Grandma, we love you and will miss you.

Friday, July 10, 2009

So it's been a while

Once again I find myself sitting here wondering why it's taken me so long to post, maybe its because this thing called life just keeps kicking my ass every time I sit down to write!

A lot has been going on with our family in the past few weeks, a lot of things that have not been pleasant, a lot of things have been just down right hard to deal with, and while I've wanted to post about them and seek the opinions of my loyal and royal readers I've been more reserved and have kept them to myself. However today I would like to open up about one thing that is going on (and just ask for what we called "unspoken" prayer for the rest of the things that are going on with some members of my family).

This past weekend my grandmother had a massive stroke, this past Tuesday Caleb and I made a flying trip to Mena to go see her and spend, what might possibly be the last moments we may ever share with her, at her bedside.

My grandmother is the epitome of a woman after God's own heart. The life she has lead would be enough to (in my mind) write her own book in the bible. After marrying my grandfather at a very young age they went on to have 8 children (move over Duggar's, and Jon and Kate have nothing on my grandparents) 7 boys and 1 girl. Now the 7 boys alone would make any woman who raised them without losing her sanity or removing her husbands testicles as he slept a saint in my book. A few of my uncles managed to singlehandedly put the majority of the grey hairs on her head pulling stunts like crashing cars and having to be bailed out of jail time and time again but not the one girl, nope the lone girl was always the laid back one, the one who saw all the trouble her brothers caused and vowed not to do the same she was the baby of the family.... oh did I mention that the lone girl is my mother :) I have a few stories on my mom that I could tell but oh how she would kill me, so I'll save those for another post.

My grandfather passed away 7 years ago, he and my grandmother were married 70 years when he died and the loss that we all felt as a family could not have been so much as a scratch compared to the pain my grandmother must have felt.

We all thought that losing my grandpa would be more than she could bare, but she surprised us all, she continued to get up day after day and continued to live her life. She was thrilled when visitors came and sad when they left. She continued to welcome new grandchildren and great grandchildren all the while silently wishing for him to be by her side (or at least that is what I think). Her health has steadily declined over the last two years, she has been bedridden for most of it, yet aside from a few bouts of confusion every now and again and a few mini strokes shes done remarkably well.

When we would go to visit our topic of conversation often went to Colorado (my grandparents had a beautiful place there on the river and she loved it) she wanted to go back there just once more she would say, although we all knew that wasn't an option. She was always interested in our lives, what we were doing, where we were going and this boy of mine was always #1 topic of conversation. She knew the pride a momma has in her boys and she made sure to stroke my ego when it came to Caleb, every chance she got.

Tuesday was one of the hardest days of my life, for more reasons than I can even begin to explain. She no longer has use of the right side of her body what so ever, she cannot close her mouth, she has trouble swallowing, she cannot speak, she does not recognize people and the light that used to be in her eyes is all but gone. All of these things were told to me before I got there and while I knew it wouldn't be a walk in the park I thought I could handle it. I was wrong. I held it together as best I could while we were there, but in writing this post today I'm a breathless with sobs.

As I bent down to kiss her forehead before we left with tears in my eyes I told her that we loved her and that we were praying for her, I did not however tell her what it was that I was asking God for. As we drove away Tuesday afternoon I asked God to take her home, this is not how she would want to live, she is tired, she is weak and she is worn, she is in need of that eternally peaceful rest. I know she has lived her entire life for the moment when she will close her eyes and be with him in heaven, I know she is looking forward to seeing not only my grandfather but two of her sons that passed on before her, I know this is the prayer she would want for me to pray, I know these tears that are streaming down my face are not for her but are for me and for the loss that I know is coming the loss that I already feel.

Please pray for me and for our family.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Totally R-O-T-T-E-N

Tell me I don't have one of the most rotten kid's in the world....

This little jewel now adorns our entire back yard! And as my husband so sadly put it, when checking out of Sam's with all 800 lbs of this play set "there goes my dream TV" what a good daddy to opt to spend the money of a play set for his rotten boy (which by the way is an early birthday present for the little booger, not a "just cause your special and rotten and spoiled" gift).

At any rate aside from the directions saying "will take two moderately skilled persons 20 to 24 hours to assemble" which totally made me laugh my ass off! It took Danny and my dad all weekend and after my folks left it took Danny and I another 3 days of working from the time we both got home from work till bed to finally get it all done!

Let me just tell you, this play set is by far the best decision we have made thus far as parents! Caleb loves it! Hell we love it, it keeps him totally occupied, throw in 500 lbs of sand in the sand box and I swear I have to stop, look around at all the toys that are in the middle of the living room floor and remind myself that I do in fact still have a child!

So here's to you Caleb.... Happy (really early) Birthday!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I'm knocking on the door

And don't wanna go in! To be a little more forthcoming in two days I turn 29.... sorry folks, 29 is just a little too close to that dreaded OLD number of 30 for my liking! Now don't get me wrong, for some of you I'm sure 30 was no problem, in fact some of you might have even enjoyed adding yet another decade to your lives, me... NOT.SO.MUCH.

Is it just me, or did you guys never think you would make it to 30? Honestly, I remember thinking how great it would be to be 20 something, but 30 Pshhh not me!

30 just seems so FINAL! Like there is no going back, you've made it, you came, you saw, you did and now your 30 FOR.CRYING.OUT.LOUD. You might as well just roll over and die!!!

My husband turned 30 not on his last birthday, but the one before (I like the older men, what can I say)! He didn't seem to have a problem with it, all he asked for was a party at Chuck E Cheese, you know "where a kid can be a kid". I'm starting to see why he wanted to go there, I think in some strange way he was trying to hold onto his youth before he fell off the cliff head first into O-L-D!!!

That's it, a year from Thursday please be prepared to hear the worlds loudest HISSY FIT, there will be kicking, screaming, holding of breath until turning blue in the face, cursing, crying and more than likely some MAJOR DRINKING... if 30 thinks its going to take another victim "quietly and easily" well that bitch has yet another thing coming, she has totally underestimated me!

(small side note, my sweet, wonderful and awesome husband/boss has given me the day off on Thursday to plot and scheme my evil plan for next year, I mean to go on the wonderful spa day that he surprised me with this year for my birthday... isn't he just the greatest)

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

A List of possible reasons for my lack of posting

So here are a few possible reasons for the fact that I have not posted a new blog in almost a month, they include but are not limited to the following, take your pick.....

I died...... (in which case I should probably be posting my obituary, and you might as well remove my from your list of favorite blogs to read, cause I don't think I'll be posting from the Great Beyond)

I had no Internet connection...... (don't pay any attention to the fact that I've updated my Facebook status probably 100 times just haven't posted anything)

I was involved in a horrific accident (insert blood curdling gasp here) that resulted in the loss of not just one but BOTH of my hands.......... (in which case could someone come over and please help me wipe......... what no takers............. sheesh and you guys call yourselves my friends....)

Temporary insanity ........ (ha we all know my insanity is not "temporary" its habitual)

I forgot the link to my own blog ....... (this one I would not put past myself..... but alas that's not it either)

I've gone "Green" and have revolted against the evil waste of electricity that it would take to turn my laptop on........ (wouldn't Obama be proud that I too, am doing my part for a little "Change" in this world)

The hierarchy at Fed-Ex Ground somehow stumbled across this blog and felt that it's contents somehow threatened national security........ (ummm yeah .. insert witty comment here)

I haven't left the house even once in the past month nor have I talked to a single soul and Caleb has not done even one slightly cute thing thus I have had NO blogging material ..... (if I hadn't left the house or talked to a single soul in a month my head would have exploded by now and you should refer to the first reason in this list, and we all know Caleb is the epitome of cuteness so of course he has done plenty of cute things)

Alas here is the real reason I haven't posted.... are you ready for this..... drum roll please..... I've been a lazy schmuck! Haven't felt like it, didn't want to, wasn't going to and you couldn't make me! There you have it folks, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God!

I'll think about doing better! If I don't, well that's just the way it is and you'll have to deal with it won't you! HA

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

It's Not Wednesday but....

Here is a picture from our Mother's Day weekend camping/hiking trip to Devil's Den State Park!

Let it be said that I enjoy camping, however, I do not enjoy camping in the threat of a tornado! Friday night we set up our tent (scratch that our BRAND NEW tent) while in a Tornado Warning, and all went well right up until it started to rain and then to pour and then, yup you guessed it... our brand freakin new tent started to leak. I was awake all night, Danny was pretty much awake all night and Caleb, well my little caming trooper slept right thru the thick of the storm never mind the lightening and the thunder he snoozed like there was no tomorrow!

Also as just a small side note, our air matress leaked so on Saturday morning we put a patch on it and thought we had it fixed... good as new right! WRONG!!! Air matress went in campground trash before we pulled up camp on Sunday morning! Piece of shit!!

The weekend was great, we had some really great weather to hike in on Sunday and all of the kiddo's loved the caves and the bats in the caves (seriously there were a lot of bats in the caves, kinda freaked me out). All in all the weekend was wonderful, just as long as you factor out the whole sleeping, or rather the lack there of!

We are now looking for a pop up camper!! This momma's not really the "tent type"!