The Parts Guy
This is how you DON'T make friends with the "cute new Fed-Ex Girl" listen, learn and remember!!
A few weeks back Danny called and said he had a story that would cheer me up (my memory isn't so great now, as to why I was in a bad mood but I'm just guessing it had something to do with my husbands damn snoring) none the less, he said that he had delivered to one of the car lots that I have a daily pick up at, he said while talking to the parts guy about being closed for New Years Day (yeah it's been a while since this happened... so what) this was how the conversation went
Danny: "I'm not sure if the girl who picks up here told you or not, but we will not be running on New Years day but will be the day after"
Parts Guy: "oh, you mean that girl with the short dark hair, tiny little thing, mid 30's she's cute as shit"
Danny: laugh ... no comment
So he calls me to tell me the story and of course couldn't leave out the "mid 30's remark"! So I said "you know if you wanted this to make me feel better, or put me in a better mood you could have left out the mid 30's comment, for crying out loud I'm not even 30 yet" to which Danny replied " Krissi leaving that detail out would be like leaving out the fact that Tiny Tim was a cripple.... you just wouldn't get the same feeling from the story"
Anyhow... the reason that I am telling you about this now is because for the first time since all of this took place I FINALLY had a pick up there on Tuesday (and believe me.. I've been waiting to get back over there, not because the guy is cute... uhhh cause he's SOOO not, but because I planned to totally call him out on the mid 30's thing and see what he had to say for himself) oh and did I mention that a lot of the people on our route don't know that Danny and I are married (we just didn't think it would be "professional" to tell people and man has it made for some damn funny stories).
PG: (has two Ground packages going out, one Express) "oh man I missed our Express guy, don't guess you can take that one for me"
Me: "well I could, but I won't.... you thought I was mid 30's REALLY.... I'm not even 30"
PG: (face ohhhh so red now) "well I just thought you were around my age I didn't mean to insult you" (add horrified look into the mix now) "I can't believe that other Fed-Ex guy would throw me under the bus like that.... what else did he tell you about that conversation"
Me: (huge smile, reveling in his remembrance of the rest of the conversation enjoying every sec. of watching him squirm) "nothing (with devious smile)"
PG: "your holding back something... "
Me: (grabbing all 3 boxes heading for the door) "have a great day"
PG: (now almost sprinting behind me towards the door, starting to spout something but is interrupted by me)
Me: "oh and by the way, not to make you feel bad.... that other Fed-Ex guy you were talking to is my husband" (insert HUGE smile here, laughing out loud even)
PG: (looking mortified) "oh shit... your not serious... oh shit.... oh shit you are serious... that's your husband"
Me: "have a great day sir" as I pull away in my truck laughing my ass off while dialing my husband on his cell!!!
Moral to this story.... I'M NOT EVEN IN MY 30's YET... DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE!!!
A few weeks back Danny called and said he had a story that would cheer me up (my memory isn't so great now, as to why I was in a bad mood but I'm just guessing it had something to do with my husbands damn snoring) none the less, he said that he had delivered to one of the car lots that I have a daily pick up at, he said while talking to the parts guy about being closed for New Years Day (yeah it's been a while since this happened... so what) this was how the conversation went
Danny: "I'm not sure if the girl who picks up here told you or not, but we will not be running on New Years day but will be the day after"
Parts Guy: "oh, you mean that girl with the short dark hair, tiny little thing, mid 30's she's cute as shit"
Danny: laugh ... no comment
So he calls me to tell me the story and of course couldn't leave out the "mid 30's remark"! So I said "you know if you wanted this to make me feel better, or put me in a better mood you could have left out the mid 30's comment, for crying out loud I'm not even 30 yet" to which Danny replied " Krissi leaving that detail out would be like leaving out the fact that Tiny Tim was a cripple.... you just wouldn't get the same feeling from the story"
Anyhow... the reason that I am telling you about this now is because for the first time since all of this took place I FINALLY had a pick up there on Tuesday (and believe me.. I've been waiting to get back over there, not because the guy is cute... uhhh cause he's SOOO not, but because I planned to totally call him out on the mid 30's thing and see what he had to say for himself) oh and did I mention that a lot of the people on our route don't know that Danny and I are married (we just didn't think it would be "professional" to tell people and man has it made for some damn funny stories).
PG: (has two Ground packages going out, one Express) "oh man I missed our Express guy, don't guess you can take that one for me"
Me: "well I could, but I won't.... you thought I was mid 30's REALLY.... I'm not even 30"
PG: (face ohhhh so red now) "well I just thought you were around my age I didn't mean to insult you" (add horrified look into the mix now) "I can't believe that other Fed-Ex guy would throw me under the bus like that.... what else did he tell you about that conversation"
Me: (huge smile, reveling in his remembrance of the rest of the conversation enjoying every sec. of watching him squirm) "nothing (with devious smile)"
PG: "your holding back something... "
Me: (grabbing all 3 boxes heading for the door) "have a great day"
PG: (now almost sprinting behind me towards the door, starting to spout something but is interrupted by me)
Me: "oh and by the way, not to make you feel bad.... that other Fed-Ex guy you were talking to is my husband" (insert HUGE smile here, laughing out loud even)
PG: (looking mortified) "oh shit... your not serious... oh shit.... oh shit you are serious... that's your husband"
Me: "have a great day sir" as I pull away in my truck laughing my ass off while dialing my husband on his cell!!!
Moral to this story.... I'M NOT EVEN IN MY 30's YET... DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE!!!
posted by Krissi at
8:17 AM
7 Comments:
I hear ya Sister.
Loved it. Hilarious!
Well, looks like he learned a lesson. That is too funny. And there is nothing worse than having someone think your mid anything when you don't come close, except maybe a non-hottie thinking your a hottie.
Oh, thats too friggin funny! Isn't it jsut awesome watching revel in their own embarrassment!!! Keep it comin, girlfriend!!
That's too funny! At leats he had the cute part right!
well played, very well played.
No, because sebaceous cysts or inclusion cysts(same thing) try to exit through the skin, have pus, and these via ultrasound are nothing like that. And to the naked eye, the back of her knee is perfectly pretty skin, not inflamed or blood red, just swollen. Dr. A thinks they may be swollen lymph nodes, but if so, what is making them swell to twice their normal size? He called it Reactive Hyperplasia, where it is swollen but don't know why or what?? Yeah, interesting to say the least, eh?? So we wait and see... I'm curious to see what Dr. B says on Monday??
That's a riot! At least he said you were cute...
Last week at work, a 19 year old kid called me "Ma'am"... I told him I was going home to kill myself.
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