"F" you Friday
So today I am taking a page from one of my favorite bloggers Cristin at Tiptoeing Through the Tulips and making a "F" You Friday post!
So without further ado....
Dear Bentonville Electric Company,
I am writing today to give you a small but very meaningful award. This month, and lets not forget last month, you successfully managed to make my blood pressure bolt through the roof in 2 seconds flat (that is some kind of record, only rivaled by my son himself during childbirth). Last month was bad enough when the bill came in the mail and was over $300 umm yeah, can you say HOLY SHIT??? I spent the rest of the day after having opened the mail trying to figure out just which kidney I could live without in order to pay your farking bill! I cringed when writing out the check and thought seriously about alternative means of power, I'm still thinking there is some way to take all of the energy I've been using to wipe butts and noses around this house and put it to some good use, you know like toasting a piece or bread (more on that when I've patented it, don't want to give you bastards anything else to steal from me).
But yesterday, oh yesterday when that lovely bill came like clockwork in the mail... yesterday you got my attention like a gun shot to the face! I opened that bill just waiting to see how much difference it made that I had turned the thermostat down those 2 degrees, to see how much of an improvement it had made that we have built a fire in our fireplace to help "supplement" heat in this 1300 sq ft house of ours for the last who knows how many days, to see that all those lights being turned off when we walk out of the room really does account for something!! So you can imagine my surprise when the FARKING BILL is $100 higher than last month.
I didn't hesitate to pick up the phone and call your wonderful customer service rep. rip off her head and shit down her neck when she answered and in the nicest, condescending tone she could muster and asked me "what seems to be the problem". After giving her a good verbal ass whoopin' over the phone, she offered to have someone come out and re-read our meter which was lovely of her. However when she called back yesterday afternoon while I was at work... AT A STOP where I couldn't answer the phone (which was part of her EVIL plan all along I am sure) and left me an all too chipper voice mail telling me that the reading was correct and we owe the amount printed on our bill and then decided to toss in her words of wisdom "maybe its a new appliance pulling more energy than you guys are used to using" I decided right then and there I would be awarding you guys the award for F YOU (you money grubbing bastards)!!
Cherish this award, shine it and pass it all around your office so that it has time to sit atop every desk there, you can tell stories to every customer that walks through the door about how you "totally had a lady by the balls and made her alone pay for all of the overtime for those electric guys after that ice storm" you might even let the "employee of the month" take it home one weekend but only if they promise to keep it in their sights at all times to make sure it is well kept and protected!
You guys deserve this award today more than anyone else I know! So this is your chance, you bunch of money grubbin' bastards, your 15 minutes of fame... FARKIN ENJOY!!
So without further ado....
Dear Bentonville Electric Company,
I am writing today to give you a small but very meaningful award. This month, and lets not forget last month, you successfully managed to make my blood pressure bolt through the roof in 2 seconds flat (that is some kind of record, only rivaled by my son himself during childbirth). Last month was bad enough when the bill came in the mail and was over $300 umm yeah, can you say HOLY SHIT??? I spent the rest of the day after having opened the mail trying to figure out just which kidney I could live without in order to pay your farking bill! I cringed when writing out the check and thought seriously about alternative means of power, I'm still thinking there is some way to take all of the energy I've been using to wipe butts and noses around this house and put it to some good use, you know like toasting a piece or bread (more on that when I've patented it, don't want to give you bastards anything else to steal from me).
But yesterday, oh yesterday when that lovely bill came like clockwork in the mail... yesterday you got my attention like a gun shot to the face! I opened that bill just waiting to see how much difference it made that I had turned the thermostat down those 2 degrees, to see how much of an improvement it had made that we have built a fire in our fireplace to help "supplement" heat in this 1300 sq ft house of ours for the last who knows how many days, to see that all those lights being turned off when we walk out of the room really does account for something!! So you can imagine my surprise when the FARKING BILL is $100 higher than last month.
I didn't hesitate to pick up the phone and call your wonderful customer service rep. rip off her head and shit down her neck when she answered and in the nicest, condescending tone she could muster and asked me "what seems to be the problem". After giving her a good verbal ass whoopin' over the phone, she offered to have someone come out and re-read our meter which was lovely of her. However when she called back yesterday afternoon while I was at work... AT A STOP where I couldn't answer the phone (which was part of her EVIL plan all along I am sure) and left me an all too chipper voice mail telling me that the reading was correct and we owe the amount printed on our bill and then decided to toss in her words of wisdom "maybe its a new appliance pulling more energy than you guys are used to using" I decided right then and there I would be awarding you guys the award for F YOU (you money grubbing bastards)!!
Cherish this award, shine it and pass it all around your office so that it has time to sit atop every desk there, you can tell stories to every customer that walks through the door about how you "totally had a lady by the balls and made her alone pay for all of the overtime for those electric guys after that ice storm" you might even let the "employee of the month" take it home one weekend but only if they promise to keep it in their sights at all times to make sure it is well kept and protected!
You guys deserve this award today more than anyone else I know! So this is your chance, you bunch of money grubbin' bastards, your 15 minutes of fame... FARKIN ENJOY!!
posted by Krissi at
10:28 AM
5 Comments:
$400 electric bill?? holy shit! that aint right.
WOW!
Yep that's all I got. just wow.
Holy Crap that's a big bill! I had a similar reaction when we had our oil tank filled last week... the bill is insanely high... and hasn't been paid yet...
WV= flart.
That is a large electric bill. And that was a hilarious post.
Between your post and Sissy's comment, I certifiably pissed myself. Damn, I really need to invest in some depends these days!! As I am still rolling on the floor....oh yeah, that is way too high of a bill, and I bet if you call them everyday, and bug the living dogsnot out of them, they will come and change your meter, because apparently it has a screw loose somewhere, to go up that much in a few months!!
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