The always fun trip to the dentist

So this morning I took Caleb and dropped him off with one very pregnant Lyssa! Drove to Ft. Smith (hoping like you know what that I wouldn't get a call as soon as I got there to say that Lyssa had gone into labor) and went to the dentist to get impressions made for my partial (yeah go ahead and try to even snicker that I just said partial and I swear flying monkeys will jump out of this screen and kick your ass) the reason I am getting a partial at the age of 28 is because I didn't take good care of my teeth and have had one too many pulled out on top!

So none the less I get there and am even early, which did nothing to benefit me, so after waiting 30 minutes or so they call me back and we get down to business! The nurse squirts this blue gunk into my mouth tells me to bite down as hard as I can and then when it's time to take it out I swear on all that is holy my freaking teeth were glued together! After prying that out of my mouth she proceeds to put a tray full of white molding gunk (very technical terms I know)into my mouth to take a bottom impression, I was a champ did a great job and it was in and out of there before you could count to 10! What happened next is still haunting me. She proceeds to tell me that she will be right back in with the tray for the top impression and just as promised a few seconds later here she comes with said tray... slaps that bitch in my mouth and God help me I went to gagging like I don't know what. Here is how the one sided conversation went (keep in mind obviously I can't speak, so I will substitute my part with what I was thinking and wishing like hell I could have said)

Nurse: "honey your gagging lean your head all the way forward"

Me: "No shit, really, me gagging, I had no effing idea"

Nurse: "this little blue drape that you have on has a plastic back, so if you throw up, don't worry it won't soak thru"

Me: "Bitch if I throw up because this crap is running down the back of my throat and expanding I swear on everything I have that what YOU are wearing is not plastic and it will soak in"

Nurse: "Only a few more seconds and it'll be out of there"

Me: " I sear I've heard that lie somewhere before... oh wait, now its coming back to me this is exactly WHY I swore not to have any more children, note to self not only do Gyno's who are trying to get you to push lie... so do dental hygenists who are trying to convince you not to throw up"


Humm who knew I had such a sensitive gag reflex???

I did manage to make it and fully recover, got back to Bentonville and got Caleb from one still very pregnant Lyssa (who will be having Aden next Wednesday by the way, she went to the Dr. today and convinced them to speed it along a little so YEA baby Aden will be born on the 22nd if she doesn't go into labor before then) and now I am just hoping like hell that nothing goes wrong with those impressions that they have to send all the way to CA to have the partial made because if I have to go thru that again... they had better have a bucket ready for me!!! And that nurse had better have a face sheild to boot!!