"Tis the Season"
While most of you are all "Fa la la la la" I'm all "Bahh Humm Bugg" and with good reason. Last night I picked up 350ish packages. The back of my truck was "blown out" by the end of the night I was more exhausted than a puppy who'd chased his tail all day and felt just about as accomplished as that puppy does when he just doesn't catch it. So here are a few things I would like to pass along to you all as you prepare to ship packages to Aunt Freeda, Uncle Jim Bob and little cousin Sally Whogivesacrap........
1) Please, please, please for the love of Pete DO.NOT.WRAP. your boxes and think that by the time they get to where ever it is they are going said wrapping paper will still be all pretty and festive. News Flash... wrapping paper is slippery and if I can't pick up that package in a hurry I swear on everything that is warm and fuzzy I will demolish your perfect wrapping job out of spite
2) If your contemplating not paying an extra $1.50 for the packing peanuts at your local shipping store, let me just give you a heads up... if you want little Sally Whogivesacrap to get the dolly all in one pretty little piece like it was when you bought it I'd advise that you pay the extra buck or two. TRUST me you need it,that is unless you want to see little Sally cry when her baby-poops-a-lot is in 500 pieces in spite of the fact that the directions specifically say "no assembly required"
3) When you call said "local shipping store" and ask when the final pick up for the day is and they tell you 6pm believe them and do not show up at 5:59pm with that family heirloom not packaged, not labeled, and not READY to be shipped and expect your warm and fuzzy Fed-Ex girl/guy to wear a smile while patiently waiting for you to get your ass in gear, WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR IT (side note if your wonderful, warm and fuzzy Fed-Ex person should happen to take pity upon you and wait, FREAKIN THANK THEM seriously....... some people's kids)
4) For the love of God don't ship heavy crap (118 lbs is just a bit excessive, it makes me have to say 4 letter words that I am really trying to refrain from saying and my poor, poor husband who just happens to call to "see how it's going" while I am trying to figure out how the hell I am going to get this box from HELL into my truck really regrets making that call) And just in case you are wondering it was at the same place where tomorrow they will find that "non-helper" ladies car under a dump truck load of coal!! (possibly with her in it)
5) If there is a nagging voice in the back of your head when you are trying to decide if you really want to ship that package, your thinking "is there a possibility it could be broken by the time it arrives at its destination" let me make it simple for you read #4 above and imagine your tiny little precious whatchamacallit sitting directly beneath that box! Enough said!
6) Be nice to your Fed-Ex Express, your Fed-Ex Ground, your Fed-Ex Home Delivery and your UPS people for crying out loud!!
1) Please, please, please for the love of Pete DO.NOT.WRAP. your boxes and think that by the time they get to where ever it is they are going said wrapping paper will still be all pretty and festive. News Flash... wrapping paper is slippery and if I can't pick up that package in a hurry I swear on everything that is warm and fuzzy I will demolish your perfect wrapping job out of spite
2) If your contemplating not paying an extra $1.50 for the packing peanuts at your local shipping store, let me just give you a heads up... if you want little Sally Whogivesacrap to get the dolly all in one pretty little piece like it was when you bought it I'd advise that you pay the extra buck or two. TRUST me you need it,that is unless you want to see little Sally cry when her baby-poops-a-lot is in 500 pieces in spite of the fact that the directions specifically say "no assembly required"
3) When you call said "local shipping store" and ask when the final pick up for the day is and they tell you 6pm believe them and do not show up at 5:59pm with that family heirloom not packaged, not labeled, and not READY to be shipped and expect your warm and fuzzy Fed-Ex girl/guy to wear a smile while patiently waiting for you to get your ass in gear, WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR IT (side note if your wonderful, warm and fuzzy Fed-Ex person should happen to take pity upon you and wait, FREAKIN THANK THEM seriously....... some people's kids)
4) For the love of God don't ship heavy crap (118 lbs is just a bit excessive, it makes me have to say 4 letter words that I am really trying to refrain from saying and my poor, poor husband who just happens to call to "see how it's going" while I am trying to figure out how the hell I am going to get this box from HELL into my truck really regrets making that call) And just in case you are wondering it was at the same place where tomorrow they will find that "non-helper" ladies car under a dump truck load of coal!! (possibly with her in it)
5) If there is a nagging voice in the back of your head when you are trying to decide if you really want to ship that package, your thinking "is there a possibility it could be broken by the time it arrives at its destination" let me make it simple for you read #4 above and imagine your tiny little precious whatchamacallit sitting directly beneath that box! Enough said!
6) Be nice to your Fed-Ex Express, your Fed-Ex Ground, your Fed-Ex Home Delivery and your UPS people for crying out loud!!
posted by Krissi at
9:38 AM
2 Comments:
Laughing hysterically!! I needed that! No, I did not sleep last night, again..thanks for asking though! However, things are getting better, my license got reinstated so I am going back to work soon and think I have managed to rangle a sitter! Praise God!! Now if I could just SLEEP!!
Thanks for the lesson. I promise to take them to heart and abide by them all.
Thank you Thank you Thank you for safely shipping all my stuff and bring fun stuff, like new shoes, to me. :)
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